ORAL-B 3D WHITE LUXE TOOTHPASTE

Find me someone with access to the internet who has never googled ‘tooth whitening’ and I’ll give you my unicorn. We all want whiter teeth. Our addiction to staining beverages leaves many of us with mouths like Worzel Gummidge, after all. This Oral-b 3D White paste promises ‘perfection’ – aka whiter teeth in three days – but, despite being notoriously prone to the placebo effect, I can’t say my smile was gleaming by the end of the trial. (Maybe it was slightly less gross?) Whitening aside, the toothpaste left my mouth feeling clean in the way you’d expect from a product that boasts ‘advanced technology’, whatever that means (sonic weaponry? Robotics? Micro drones?). A note of caution, though: having read the list of ingredients and the warning on the side of the box, I’d avoid swallowing this toothpaste, unless you want bleached organs to match your new smile.