MASTERFOODS DIJONNAISE MUSTARD

The year is 2002. Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” is number one on the radio; John Howard is doing whatever America tells him to; and I’m putting ‘dijonnaise’ on everything. You name a world cuisine and I’m ruining it with dijonnaise – I’m even inventing new meals as an excuse to eat more of it. When this stuff hit the shelves, it ushered in a new era of combination condiments, and I was there for it. Fastforward to a few months later, however, and I was truly sick of Combination Condiment Culture. What happened? Well, I totally OD’D on the juice. But aside from that, this is ultimately a condiment that is less than the sum of its parts, to the point that it’s overwhelmingly more delicious to put Dijon mustard and mayonnaise onto a sandwich separately. It was supposed to be the condiment of the future, saving us the time of opening two separate jars – freeing us from the burden of washing two spoons or knives. However, the promises were all lies. This tube squirts disappointment and little else.