The time is now
STOP TWIDDLING YOUR THUMBS, SAYS DEIRDRE FIDGE.
On my seventh birthday I was gifted a notepad. The pages were light blue, and on the bottom of each one sat a row of sweet pink bows and a content-looking teddy bear. I’m sure I received other presents that year, but this is the only one that stands out in my mind to this day (sorry Mum).
The notepad rested in my tiny hands, palms quivering with gratitude and excitement. I felt an enormous sense of responsibility and immediately knew that paper must be saved for a special occasion. It’s unclear what grand plans seven-year-old me had for those teddy bears. A letter to the Prime Minister? A sonnet of childhood woe? I liked to draw as a child, but the pad was far too precious for pencil sketches of freakishly disproportionate unicorns (they always had really long torsos and stumpy legs). That paper had a greater purpose. It MUST. BE. SAVED.
A few years later, my family moved across the globe and I came across the notepad during the packing process. It was completely untouched and in perfect condition. Naturally, I took the sacred item, in the hopes my pre-teen self would finally have an opportunity to use it. Folks, I’ll cut to the chase: it never happened. The pages remained uninked, and the teddy bears withered and died and were sent immediately to Hell (probably).
They say people learn from their mistakes. They also say wisdom comes with age. They must also say that some people are big dumdums, because as I moved through my 20s, it became clear many items needed to be treated this way. Stationery was prime preservation material, but clothing and make-up were also added to the list, and even abstract concepts like ‘going to that nice café for lunch’ had to be squirrelled away.
There were times when I considered using a Special Occasion item. Maybe I’d take out a lipstick, or even try on a frock. What are you doing? an internal voice would inevitably whisper. You’ll look overdressed. What if someone asks where you’re going and you have to say Coles? What if you ruin it? Today is not the day. That voice was clearly louder than the one that begged me to remember the dead teddy bears. So I’d sheepishly put the lipstick away and hang up the dress.
For a brief period I lived overseas again, and back home, my sister went through the clothes I’d left behind. I received shocked messages: “You have so many clothes??? I’ve never seen most of this stuff???” Of course not – there’d never been a special enough occasion! So instead of wearing the incredible gold op-shop jacket or the overpriced dress I won in a tense ebay war, I’d carefully tuck them in a closet and go about my day sporting the same boring jeans I’d had for years.
As with the notepad, the window of opportunity for these items would pass. The lipstick dried out, and I couldn’t fit all my sequinned jackets in one suitcase when I moved. What a waste. You can probably guess where this is going: don’t wait for a special occasion to use the things that make you happy. Turn any old day into the day you waltz around in fancy shoes, or write a shopping list on beautiful paper, or take yourself to that swish café for lunch. At any moment, a meteor could smack into our planet or AI robots could decide to murder us (and they would be right to do so). But don’t let life’s uncertainty scare you – let it free you. Because one day, you’ll reach for that special thing and realise you aren’t as into teddy bears as you were 20 years ago. So carpe that freaking diem.