At home with Jackie
With so many gorgeous plants to choose from, JACKIE FRENCH has thought long and hard about the perfect gift for Santa to take back to the North Pole
Every year – of course – we leave out Vegemite sandwiches for Santa Claus and carrots for the reindeer. (I accept that the choice of Vegemite sandwiches might be controversial, but they are always gone in the morning, so clearly Santa likes them.)
But what if you feel like leaving a gift, as well as sustenance? A present for the reindeers is easy – a few mossy rocks – but what of Santa?
That choice is also easy. Santa needs a plant, the North Pole being severely deficient plant-wise, despite global warming. But what sort?
It has to be an indoor plant, unless
Santa has a glasshouse with extremely good central heating and grow-lights for the midwinter dark. This rules out the perfect Christmas gift for almost anyone – a dwarf, self-pollinating cherry, such as Stella, which is already covered in bright red, dangly, ready-to-munch fruit.
Santa’s gift also needs to be low-care, as Christmas is a busy time of year for everyone, not just Santa, and it must also
be able to survive the sleigh ride home. This would give you a shortlist of any of the cacti (but that might risk prickles in Rudolf’s nose), a begonia (which is a bit bath salts and boring) or an aspidistra or kentia palm, both of which are incredible survivors. The latter, in particular, is an excellent gift for a brown-thumbed friend (especially in a gorgeous pot).
But a gift for Santa also needs to say ‘Christmas’ as well as ‘Australia’, and be totally absolutely gorgeous, in return for all Santa has brought me over the decades…
Which means a NSW Christmas bush, Ceratopetalum gummiferum ‘Johanna’s Christmas’. It grows to only a metre and a half high and wide, making it perfect for pots. It will need to be planted in native potting mix and accompanied by a card with instructions, as Santa almost certainly hasn’t grown Aussie natives before.
He won’t know that
Christmas bush needs full sun but will be happy for a month or so indoors. (Maybe
I should give him a grow-light, too). He will have no idea that it will bloom with small creamy-white flowers in spring that then form bright red, flower-like bracts among its soft, shiny green leaves as the calyx ripens in November and December.
He won’t know Christmas bush needs a light trim as soon as the colourful bracts fade, in late January perhaps, cutting just behind each bract to keep the plant tidy and compact, and pruning new flowering wood only, not old or hard wood, as that will reduce Christmas colour next year.
Santa will definitely need to know that his new acquisition needs excellent drainage, so while watering often and feeding lightly during spring will keep it growing and blooming well, it must never be left with wet feet in a badly drained pot, or in a pot sitting in a saucer of water.
If Santa had an outdoor garden, which is not possible at the North Pole without massive infrastructure (though, come to think of it, Santa may have that, with all that toy making), he might like a full-sized Christmas bush, such as ‘Alberys Red’. It has good bright-red flowers, though not as vivid as little ‘Johanna’s Christmas’ or full-sized ‘Red Red Red Christmas’ (sounds suitably festive) with bracts that turn a darker shade of red as they age. Both grow somewhere between three and six metres high, though they can be kept pruned to a lower height, and spread about two metres wide.
If a plant is suitable for Santa, with his schedule and climate, it is also an excellent gift for everyone else – except, of course, for keen gardeners who may already have one or are going on holidays for the next month or are about to have a baby or…
Even the ‘perfect plant’ may not be perfect for everyone. Merry Christmas!
Santa needs a plant, the North Pole being severely de cient plant-wise, despite global warming. But what sort?