All-Aussie omissions
WHAT a magnificent week it’s been in football. In fact, as far as flat spots go, the AFL has nailed the brief to the fence, unless of course you are Joel Selwood, who probably thinks the week off is a very good idea, indeed. But just because Joel thinks it’s a good idea doesn’t mean we have to subscribe to his view, nor does it mean we have to agree with his selection in the All-Australian team, which I don’t, especially after some of the glaring omissions from the side released on Wednesday night such as Jeremy Howe.
With this in mind the Payneful Truth would like to put forward a other efforts worthy of AA selection in their very own special respective categories, including: HAIRCUTS WITH HEDGETRIMMERS: Dustin Martin’s manager, Ralph Carr. Lucky to get through security at New Zealand airport with that “do’’, which makes Dusty’s look unremarkable in comparison, which is very, very, hard to do. PRIMA-DONNA GOLD: The Australian cricket team’s humiliating defeat to Bangladesh after going on strike over a protracted pay deal with Cricket Australia this year earns them this gong by a street. Lucky they don’t have to work in sweatshops making cheap T-shirts . . . CRAP WEBSITE AWARD: Brilliant effort from Ticketek this week with the usual glitches and time-outs under the weight of demand for finals tickets. If it hadn’t happened every year since the internet was invented you’d reckon they might have done something to fix it by now. SCALPERS/RE-SELLERS: Same as every other year: Game sells out. Tickets appear on reseller sites. Government puts out statement threatening this, that and the next thing with its usual amount of chest-beating until the news cycle moves on post-finals and nothing actually changes, except the date on the same statement they send out next year. If they can’t organise a partpayment scheme for car rego in Victoria what do we expect from Spring St when they all get free finals tickets anyway? NOT-PRICE-GOUGING AWARD: In another shameless free plug for a great community organisation in a week of no AFL finals, I am giving a shout out to my local tennis club, Ocean Grove, and every other local sporting club in the universe for their ongoing commitment to offer reasonably priced beverages for middle-aged sporting hacks like me, which by the time you read this I may have partaken in last night. It takes the edge off my football team not being in the finals. Just like last year. And the year before. Not since 2013 actually. Bugger it.