Saddle up, it’s rough
FRIDAY night footy is on the wane with TV viewers as ratings plummet on a string of notbusters, and tonight’s clash between Sydney (4th) and Carlton (18th) continues the trend.
And while the Channel 7 executives may be nervous, it could be worse, because Sunday’s 4.40pm closer pits Adelaide against GWS, which has all the hallmarks of watching Question Time for 100 minutes and leaving you just as angry at the conclusion as to the point of it all.
With this in mind, the creative team at Payneful Truth Towers has come up with some exciting entertainment alternatives to wrap your optic-nerves around tonight, so give these a try instead and . . . WATCH PAINT DRY: If you are watching paint dry, that means you have already painted something, which means you have achieved something before it’s even Saturday, which will leave you more time to do other things (like finding an excuse to spend six hours at golf) than if you’d sat down and watched the football and done Sierra Foxtrot Alpha. WATCH A MOVIE, 7FLIX, 8.30PM: Why not suggest a dramatic/romantic interlude and settle in with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia from 2008. If you get a room painted before it starts, you can watch this instead of watching the paint dry, and contribute to the wellbeing of your relationship by not watching the football on a Friday night for the first time since, well, about 2008, when you maybe didn’t have kids and went out to see a movie with your better half instead. Oh the irony. WATCH THE SOCCER, CHANNEL ONE, 8.30PM: Socceroos v Czech Republic in a friendly before the World Cup doesn’t exactly float my boat, but there may be more goals scored in this game than by Carlton, so who knows? Worth a look. WATCH YOUR KIDS WATCHING YOUTUBE: That’s where the kids are at. If you think commercial TV ratings are bad now, wait a few more years and see them really go over a cliff. WATCH DANGERMOUSE, ABCME CHANNEL 23, 7.50PM: Show the kids what you used to watch on TV long before YouTube was invented. Only goes for a few minutes so they might even get through to the end. And it’s funny. If I recall correctly. WATCH THE NRL, 9GEM. 7.50PM: South Sydney v Cronulla. No Storm no point. Just when you thought there could be nothing worse than being forced to watch/listen to Nickelback for a couple of hours, the NRL goes one-up. Makes the Sunday game between Crows and the team created in a petri-dish quite appealing in comparison. Good luck and happy viewing tonight.