HOON’S BIZARRE ANTICS

A HOON driver told police he had no idea a rabbit was hanging from the towbar of the car he was doing burnouts and fishtails in at Point Henry.

Police prosecutor Acting Senior Sergeant Mick Graham told the Geelong Magistrates’ Court yesterday the rabbit was found dead when officers arrested Jackson Lawn, 23.

Rather than seizing the car on the spot, officers allowed the Connewarre man the cheaper option of surrendering it to the Ocean Grove police station later that week. But instead of delivering the vehicle as arranged, Lawn towed it to the police station and dumped it near the front door late at night with a series of offensive messages sprayed on to it, such as “f--- cops”.

I CAN’T remember the exact moment I lost my dignity on Saturday night.

I never really had much left anyway, but it would have been nice to maintain some form of it before my wedding next month.

I’m sure there is a video of me losing it floating around.

I just haven’t been brave enough to ask the blokes at my buck’s party to send me all the footage they have just yet.

It has taken me the best part of 48 hours to piece together all of the antics from Saturday.

There were plenty of balls … of the lawn and golf variety (get your mind out of the gutter!).

And of course beer, pizza, music, Maxi Taxis and one very big hangover the next morning.

I’d been nervous for weeks ahead of my real ‘big day’.

We all know the wedding is about the ladies and the buck’s day is the grand final for the groom.

One trait most journos have is the need to know everything. We feel uneasy when we don’t.

So when my mates refused to tell me what was happening I started to get a bit edgy. A shot of tequila started the day before one of the lads said: “You’re okay with heights, aren’t you?” WHAT??!! Part of me died a little bit. Luckily there wasn’t any jumping out of planes. But there was a lot of golf at the driving range, plus some lawn bowls. I was even made to lay down on the green and be the jack for a few ends. I won’t tell you about the rest of my night for two reasons. One, it’s probably not fit for publishing. And two, I can’t remember it anyway. I think I remained well hy- drated and I woke up the next morning to a pounding headache, an empty pizza box from Kardinia Cafe and one really, really big bruise on my leg.

It’s about 30cm long for those that want to know what I mean by big.

I can’t remember exactly how I got it, but there were some handstands as well as some slipping and sliding on the floor.

Come to think of it, that could have been the moment where I lost my dignity.

So what’s the moral of my story? You can always trust your mates to look out for you.

Unless, of course, you are running and trying to bodyslide across the floor.

If that happens, they’ll egg you on while filming you. Trust me.