Life’s a beach for my dad, the hero

Geelong Advertiser - - NEWS -

Don’t you worry, it’s gonna be all right. ‘Cause I’m al­ways ready, I won’t let you out of my sight. — Some of the words to the Bay­watch theme song

DAD’S had so many jobs it’s hard to keep track of them all. Let me think. He’s been a ma­chine op­er­a­tor at an elec­tri­cal ca­ble man­u­fac­turer, shed builder, car de­tailer, farm hand, su­per­mar­ket shelf stacker … he’s even done a stint as a re­cy­cling garbo.

And that was all be­fore he made his way into news­pa­pers, where he’s been whiling away the bet­ter part of the past two decades.

But there’s one job he’s al­ways wanted, one he’s dreamt of for many years and still dreams about to this day — beach life­guard.

Fan­tasy or not, for him it’s the job that got away, and when­ever Bondi Res­cue comes on the telly he lets us know about it. And then there’s his in­ex­pli­ca­ble love of Bay­watch, which he as­sures Mum is be­cause of the life-guard­ing sto­ry­lines rather than the beach babes run­ning in slow mo­tion. Like I said, pure fan­tasy. So, yet again, I’ve had to come to the old man’s res­cue. We’ve been spend­ing a lot of time at the beach this sum­mer — and when me and my bro head down the beach we love to run amok, mean­ing Dad has to watch us like a hawk. There’s no chance for him to have a re­fresh­ing dip or kick back on his beach towel and soak up the rays.

He’s al­ways ‘on duty’ telling us as sternly as he can to stick to­gether and keep be­tween the flags, mak­ing sure we’re slathered head to toe in sun­cream all the while.

He acts like he doesn’t like it, but I can tell he rel­ishes ev­ery minute. It’s like

Bay­watch fan­tasy camp. All he’s miss­ing is a pair of red shorts, a buff body and one of those res­cue buoys The Hoff used to get about with.

It’s not the only work ex­pe­ri­ence I’ve given the old boy over the years. I’ve also em­ployed him as a chef, taxi driver, nurse, cleaner and life coach, to name but a few.

But while he’s not the best can­di­date for most of those jobs, I know when it comes to beach safety I’m in pretty good hands.

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