It’s not personal, I just like business

I’M just a kid that grew up in a working-class family from Newcomb.

I’ll always be that kid … or man. I appreciate my roots and my upbringing.

But there is one thing I can’t stand in life — and that’s flying economy.

I know that sounds really snobbish, but it’s true.

And I’m certain the only people that will take offence to that statement are the ones that have never been fortunate enough to sit towards the front of the plane.

The air is just so much better the further forward you go.

The people are cleaner, there are no children and the food is actually half-decent.

The staff treat you nicely with a genuine welcome and a smile.

There are no families of seven with suitcases trying to frantically shove their oversized luggage in the overhead locker, squishing every single valuable item you have in your size-abiding overnight bag.

Oh, and did you pov people know that the seats go ALL the way back? I was reminded of just how good business class is when I flew to Adelaide last week. Unfortunately there’s no business class flights when you’re just the deputy sports editor at the Geelong Advertiser, so it was to the back of the plane I went when I flew over to cover the footy. And I was treated to the FULL economy experience. Maybe it’s karma for turning my nose up at my boarding pass when it read seat 15B. Maybe I was just unlucky. Maybe its both. Either way it was the longest one-and-a-bit hour flight each way. On the way over I was wedged between two people who were rather bulky.

With a BMI greater than the allowed amount of checked baggage on a business class international flight, I squished myself up between them and battled for a sliver of armrest.

My body was contorted as I sat there wondering why on earth these people didn’t bother buying two seats for themselves. That’s not a dig at those carrying some extra puddin’. I do too, but if I was THAT big I’d be buying two seats.

On the way back, I got the toddler experience.

He cried. Then he crawled. Then he dropped biscuits on me. And when he was done with all that, I became his leg rest when he fell asleep.

I ran off the plane as fast as I could as soon as we landed, thankful it’ll be a while before I have to do it again.