Hairy situation
SOMETIMES in life there is a moment when you know that your child has taken a step towards growing up.
It is a little act of assured independence. It is a moment where they are saying, subconsciously or consciously, “I am the boss of me”.
We had one of those moments happen in our house a couple of weeks ago.
Our 12-year-old son went to the hairdresser. When the young and exceedingly hip hairdresser asked Harvey what kind of haircut he wanted, he seized the moment — and asked for a mullet.
In no time at all, the sides were shaved to a number one and product was being rubbed into his mane to start the party at the back.
Mullets are haircuts which are, in my view, part comical and part ugly. They are also iconic and, believe it or not, historic.
The first recorded mention of the mullet in literature was in Homer’s epic The Iliad. He described a group of warriors known as the Abantes as wearing “their forelocks cropped, hair grown long at the backs”.
The mullet was also a fashionable hairstyle in the sixth century where fans of the Huns in chariot races copied their hair style in tribute to their favourite sportsmen.
Moving forward to 1972, the ancient ‘do reappeared courtesy of an orange mullet on David Bowie (pictured). It was an important part of his ‘Ziggy Stardust’ persona. It also continued the mullet’s history as a haircut of the rebel. Rocking the orange mullet, Bowie challenged the traditional ideas of the sixties in relation to gender, identity, music and social norms.
What restarted with Bowie in the 1970s found a solid following on the AFL sporting field by the 1980s. I was in my teens in the mid’80s and every AFL player worth their footy socks was rocking the ‘business at the front, party at the back’ hairdo.
Every team seemingly had their signature mullet holder. Stephen Kernahan’s manicured hairstyle was unparalleled. Dermott Brereton’s permdullet — permed and dyed mullet — was certainly a signature ’80s look. Potentially the greatest mullet of its era, one could argue. The mullet seemingly found its natural home on the AFL sporting field where it reigned king of all hairstyles until the late 1990s. Wayne Carey’s mullet was spiked up at the back. Peter Daicos’ mullet flowed free in the wind as he kicked. Warwick Capper had blonde tips and streaks in his mullet. Gary Ablett’s mullet had a receding hairline in the front but plenty of party at the back. It may in fact have even been the secret weapon in the aeronautical perfection of his goal kicking! While the mullet haircut had b e en around for centuries, the name ‘mullet’ apparently only arrived in our lives in 1994 when the Beastie Boys released the song Mullet Head. The lyrics are interesting and encapsulate the haircut and its lifestyle.
You want to know what’s a mullet/Well, I got a little story to tell/ About a hairstyle that’s a way of life/ You’re coming off like you’re Van Damme/You’ve got Kenny G in your Trans Am/You’ve got names like Billy Ray … Number one on the side and don’t touch the back/Number six on the top and don’t cut it wack, Jack.
The modern mullet that has reappeared on the AFL sporting field in recent times through players like Cam Rayner and Bailey Smith and has quickly transcended the schoolyard … and onto Harvey’s head.
Unlike almost any other haircut, once on your head, people feel the need to acknowledge the mullet and have an opinion about it.
The boys in the schoolyard either have one already or are thinking about getting one. The girls in the schoolyard seem confused and have asked Harv why he would do that to himself. His Nanna is unimpressed, consoled only by the idea that his hair will eventually grow. Teachers have thought it comical and endearing. Parents of teammates have asked simply: “How did it happen?”
However, it happened, it is here and, if history teaches us anything, it will stay for some time. The mullet is business at the front, party at the back — and 12-year-old independence all the way through. Rachel Schutze is a principal lawyer at Gordon Legal, wife and mother of three. [Ed’s note: Ms Schutze is married to Corio MP Richard Marles.]