Geelong Advertiser

On the offensive for our language

- KAREN MATTHEWS

COULD the Aussie lingo as we know it be on a downward slope towards extinction?

That gloriously knockabout language synonymous with Australia and its people that has always endeared us to the world.

Sayings such as “budgie smugglers”, “going troppo”, “a dog’s breakfast” and “don’t come the raw prawn with me”.

All from a distant past when life was simpler and more about putting tucker on the table than today’s nitpicking through the English language to find something which may cause offence.

For instance, could the saying, “She’ll be right mate”, instead of providing the usual comfort and assurance, be seen by some as offensive due to the gender specific “She” and therefore noninclusi­ve of others.

And using the word “mate”, might not that offend the frail sensibilit­ies of someone who doesn’t quite share your perception of the relationsh­ip?

So could the saying, “She’ll be right, mate” eventually become, “You’ll be right, non-gender specific human”?

Say that too loudly and you’ll be accused of having a “kangaroo loose in the top paddock” or being “one sandwich short of a picnic”. And rightly so.

But why stop there.

I mean you can find offence with anything if you try hard enough.

Being a “rip snorter” generally means something is pretty darned good.

But with pigs and cocaine addicts prone to snorting, that could send the wrong signals.

And simple questions such as, “How are you going”, should be more specific. Either ask them how their health is or offer them a ride, one or the other.

Hitting the “turps” might, to most people, mean getting on the grog.

But it could also mean encouragin­g people to drink poisonous liquids used for cleaning paint brushes. Can’t take the risk on that one either.

“No worries” gives the impression the world is a carefree place in which nothing can go wrong.

All good and well unless you take it literally and try base jumping without a parachute.

So, that’s gone too!

And what about, “Faster than a rat up a drainpipe”.

Should come with warnings to prevent older Aussies actually giving it a shot and coming off second best.

And “Your shout” generally means it is your turn to pay.

But could also offend someone if they take it to mean, get your wallet out, you’re as tight as a fish’s orifice, which would probably be fairly accurate anyway.

What about “mates’ rates”, also known as extorting friendship for financial advantage.

And referring to children as “anklebiter­s” could be seen as demeaning.

Despite the fact most kids don’t chew on your ankles and, even if they did, it’s your responsibi­lity to wear thicker socks and not theirs, to release their grip.

One expression we shouldn’t have any problems with is the unflatteri­ng referral to someone as a “tool”.

Aside from a descriptio­n of the contents of your shed, tools do not discrimina­te, (they’ll take your fingers off as quickly as the next person’s), are all-inclusive and, better still, don’t give a flying ferret as to your gender.

I MEAN YOU CAN FIND OFFENCE WITH ANYTHING IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH. BEING A ‘RIP SNORTER’ GENERALLY MEANS SOMETHING IS PRETTY DARNED GOOD. BUT WITH PIGS AND COCAINE ADDICTS BOTH PRONE TO SNORTING, THAT COULD SEND THE WRONG SIGNALS.”

At the end of the day, we should raise a glass to our unique brand of language complete with its “bum-nuts”, “sangers”, “dead horse” and all.

And continue in the illustriou­s tradition of “two-pot screamers”, “pulling your head in”, “spitting the dummy” and, of course, “getting a wedgie”.

And, oh yes, living in the Lucky Country where there are still enough of us left to see the funny side of most things and “take the Mickey” out of those who don’t.

OUR communitie­s consist of a diverse mix of people; but we are all humans, and should be able to accept and tolerate the difference­s between us. As Dame Edna once said, “It would be a funny old world if everyone was like me”.

Kanga King, Anglesea

PLEASE tell me this is a terrible misprint. CoGG Council has allocated $250,000 to “develop a master plan “for Eastern Beach.

Ray

RE: March for justice (GA, 8/5). No mention of how some men actually suffer, too. I’m a female with a wonderful husband and have experience­d seeing some men treated badly by a female. Not enough mention of all those males who suffer in silence. They’re victims too

TO the anonymous letter writer (Letters, GA, 8/5) as “Geelong Women’s Union”. A well-written document for the most part. However, your bias towards women avoids the fact that many men are also victims. Mother’s Day or not, we should be thinking of all

IN the late 1960s we were able to buy a new house for $100 deposit with an affordable 40-year contract — thanks to the then government. After developing the garden and spending every tax refund on floors, we sold it at a profit for another. And another until we were living where really wanted to.

Single mums should take the same path victims of assault every day. Len, Hamlyn Heights

GEELONG Woman’s Union Network, your feminist comments on Mother’s Day have just turned it into a day of confrontat­ion, claiming all men are “bastards”.

Sammy

RICK, when you’re in opposition as Labor are, you don’t get any say as to how money is spent. They aren’t the government in charge of where money is spent. Now if you looked at Liberalhel­d seats or marginal seats, you would find large amounts of money have been spent, even on NBN services.

Power play

DO the people guilty of deliberate­ly ramming police vehicles have to pay for the associated repair costs? Why not? Vin

THE Addy headline “The Avengers” was as predictabl­e as it was inane. How a win worth four points can avenge a premiershi­p loss is beyond me. When the Cats defeat Richmond in an AFL Grand Final, then can we talk about “avenging” a grand final loss.

The Rabbi, Geelong West

LOCAL, the northern suburbs will only get its fair share when it rids itself of time wasters like Marles and Eren. Don’t hold your breath

WHAT’S going on Addy? Has the paper become so reliant on advertisin­g funds our much-loved middle pages liftout with all our local footy teams is reduced to back pages in print you need magnifying glasses to read?

Col, Lara

BELL Park footy club, known locally as the “Wog” club, has gone Asian thanks to our new major sponsor, Hi Sushi. Happy Dragon

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