Finding the Betty to your Veronica isn’t easy. You gotta know how to spot the real mates from the fake ones.
How to spot a toxic friend
Friends are supposed to be kind, fun and supportive. Of course, not everything is going to be bestie goals 24/7, but most of the time you should come away feeling good when you’ve been hanging out with your mates. If you’re feeling not-so-happy about it, maybe they’re not such great pals. These are the ones to look out for.
The Toxic Friend
Cheryl Blossom might be fun to watch on screen, but it’s not so fun IRL when you have a ‘friend’ like her. The toxic friend creates an environment where the group worries about getting on her bad side and, in many cases, will throw each other under the bus if it means not being the one she targets. The toxic friend usually controls the situation by saying mean things behind someone’s back to the rest of the group, and spreading gossip or lies. If you have a Cheryl in your group, then it’s important to support your other friends and to all tell her that you don’t want to play those games.
Do you have a pal that only calls when they need something? Or maybe they’re super keen to come over when your brother and his cute friends are home, but they never invite you to things? In every relationship there is one who usually gives a bit more than the other, but if your friendship seems to be completely one-sided and depends on what they get from you, it’s time to move on. You ain’t nobody’s doormat.
The Cool Girl
It’s natural to want to be popular, and often people think the easiest way will be if the most popular girl at school is friends with you. That’s great if you get on and have a genuine friendship. But if you have to work really hard to be someone’s friend or change who you are to try and win them over, then that’s not a real friend, is it?
This happens and it totally sucks. You were absolute best friends, you did everything together and she knew all your deepest, darkest secrets. Then for some reason she just zayned from your friendship. There was no fight, in fact, you can’t even think of any possible reason this happened. Maybe you even asked her when you noticed things seemed different and all the invitations were coming from you? She found reasons not to catch up until you finally stopped asking. It’s so confusing and it’s hard to move on when you have no idea what went wrong. The fact is you might never find out why she decided to no longer be your friend. As
If you have to work really hard to be someone’s friend or change who you are to try and win them over, then that’s not a real friend, is it?
hurtful as that is, you have to realise that you can’t force a friendship – and if that person doesn’t want to be your friend, they don’t deserve you!
The Jealous Type
You’ve seen The Duff, right? Well, there are girls out there who treat their friends badly in order to feel good about themselves. They really don’t like it when good things happen to you and it comes down to jealousy.
Say you make the school musical and she doesn’t, she’ll say its lame and take the shine off your achievement. Or a guy you have a crush on likes you back, and she tells you he’s not cute. They don’t want you to have what they don’t have, and it comes from their own insecurity. Real friends should support each other and be genuinely happy for their pal when something great happens.
Have you got a friend who is totally unreliable and always cancels your plans at the last minute? It’s so frustrating and TBH it’s pretty rude. It makes you feel like they don’t respect you or value your time. Being flakey doesn’t make them a bad person though, so it doesn’t have to be time out on the friendship if you don’t want to. You can set some boundaries and let them know that you find it disappointing when they constantly bail on your plans.