Find­ing the Betty to your Veron­ica isn’t easy. You gotta know how to spot the real mates from the fake ones.

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How to spot a toxic friend

Friends are sup­posed to be kind, fun and sup­port­ive. Of course, not ev­ery­thing is go­ing to be bestie goals 24/7, but most of the time you should come away feel­ing good when you’ve been hang­ing out with your mates. If you’re feel­ing not-so-happy about it, maybe they’re not such great pals. Th­ese are the ones to look out for.

The Toxic Friend

Ch­eryl Blos­som might be fun to watch on screen, but it’s not so fun IRL when you have a ‘friend’ like her. The toxic friend cre­ates an en­vi­ron­ment where the group wor­ries about get­ting on her bad side and, in many cases, will throw each other un­der the bus if it means not be­ing the one she tar­gets. The toxic friend usu­ally con­trols the sit­u­a­tion by say­ing mean things be­hind some­one’s back to the rest of the group, and spread­ing gos­sip or lies. If you have a Ch­eryl in your group, then it’s im­por­tant to sup­port your other friends and to all tell her that you don’t want to play those games.

The User

Do you have a pal that only calls when they need some­thing? Or maybe they’re su­per keen to come over when your brother and his cute friends are home, but they never in­vite you to things? In ev­ery re­la­tion­ship there is one who usu­ally gives a bit more than the other, but if your friend­ship seems to be com­pletely one-sided and de­pends on what they get from you, it’s time to move on. You ain’t no­body’s door­mat.

The Cool Girl

It’s nat­u­ral to want to be pop­u­lar, and often peo­ple think the eas­i­est way will be if the most pop­u­lar girl at school is friends with you. That’s great if you get on and have a gen­uine friend­ship. But if you have to work re­ally hard to be some­one’s friend or change who you are to try and win them over, then that’s not a real friend, is it?

The Phan­tom

This hap­pens and it to­tally sucks. You were ab­so­lute best friends, you did ev­ery­thing to­gether and she knew all your deep­est, dark­est se­crets. Then for some rea­son she just za­yned from your friend­ship. There was no fight, in fact, you can’t even think of any pos­si­ble rea­son this hap­pened. Maybe you even asked her when you no­ticed things seemed dif­fer­ent and all the in­vi­ta­tions were com­ing from you? She found rea­sons not to catch up un­til you fi­nally stopped ask­ing. It’s so con­fus­ing and it’s hard to move on when you have no idea what went wrong. The fact is you might never find out why she de­cided to no longer be your friend. As

If you have to work re­ally hard to be some­one’s friend or change who you are to try and win them over, then that’s not a real friend, is it?

hurt­ful as that is, you have to re­alise that you can’t force a friend­ship – and if that per­son doesn’t want to be your friend, they don’t de­serve you!

The Jeal­ous Type

You’ve seen The Duff, right? Well, there are girls out there who treat their friends badly in order to feel good about them­selves. They re­ally don’t like it when good things hap­pen to you and it comes down to jeal­ousy.

Say you make the school mu­si­cal and she doesn’t, she’ll say its lame and take the shine off your achieve­ment. Or a guy you have a crush on likes you back, and she tells you he’s not cute. They don’t want you to have what they don’t have, and it comes from their own in­se­cu­rity. Real friends should sup­port each other and be gen­uinely happy for their pal when some­thing great hap­pens.

The Flake

Have you got a friend who is to­tally un­re­li­able and al­ways can­cels your plans at the last minute? It’s so frus­trat­ing and TBH it’s pretty rude. It makes you feel like they don’t re­spect you or value your time. Be­ing flakey doesn’t make them a bad per­son though, so it doesn’t have to be time out on the friend­ship if you don’t want to. You can set some bound­aries and let them know that you find it dis­ap­point­ing when they con­stantly bail on your plans.

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