The lazy girl’s guide to killing it at school

LAZY GIRL’S GUIDE TO KILLING IT AT SCHOOL

Girlfriend - - CON­TENTS -

Get it, girl!

You had the best in­ten­tions when you started the year with your fresh AF sta­tionery, but it went down­hill pretty fast. We know you wanted to start your as­sign­ment two weeks be­fore it was due. But you didn’t. You started at 11.45pm the night be­fore, yet again, and we, hon­estly, are not judg­ing you coz we’ve all been there. But you still wanna do well and make your par­ents proud

(or at least not get in trou­ble!), so we’ve rounded up some cheats to guide you when you re­ally need it.

Luck­ily, it is pos­si­ble to hand in a piece of writ­ing that won’t get you an F.

?¿?¿What es­say?¿?¿

Es­says with long word counts can be daunt­ing. They’re even scarier when you’ve left them to the last minute. Luck­ily, it is pos­si­ble to hand in a piece of writ­ing that won’t get you an F. The first thing to do is switch your phone off so it doesn’t dis­tract you. Next, plan your es­say. Start by fig­ur­ing out what the ex­act point is you want to get across. Then choose the topics you want to cover in each para­graph, and write your notes in dot point. Once you’ve de­cided the pur­pose of your es­say, throw your in­tro­duc­tion in at the top and your con­clu­sion at the bot­tom. Re­mem­ber key phrases like “in ad­di­tion to”, “on the other hand”, and “con­tra­dict­ing the pre­vi­ous ar­gu­ment” – teach­ers love it, trust us. Reach that word count, throw your name on it and hand that bad boy in. BOOM. An es­say has been born.

I didn’t know we had an exam to­mor­row…

It hap­pened again, dammit! When you were about to start re­vis­ing for that his­tory exam, you ac­ci­den­tally went to YouTube and fell into a hole of celebrity con­spir­acy videos. It hap­pens to the best of us. First thing: DON’T PANIC. Take a deep breath and jot down all the main things you need to know. Your brain is more likely to ab­sorb in­for­ma­tion when you’re feel­ing calm, so throw on a face mask, play some chill mu­sic, stick your notes on the bath­room wall (or bring them in with you) and have a re­lax­ing bath. Con­tin­u­ously read over ev­ery­thing un­til you feel like you have mem­o­rised all your notes. No bath? Pop your notes in a plas­tic sleeve and stick them on the shower screen. Take a long shower and read those notes over and over un­til they are em­bed­ded in your brain.

Oops! I for­got to do my part of the group project

No-one wants to be the Zayn in a group project. But some­times life can hap­pen and next thing you know, it’s due to­mor­row. Oops! In­stead of send­ing a

“so sor­rrrrrrry guys, been su­per busy” email, take con­trol of the sit­u­a­tion. Hit up every­one in the group chat (yep, even the bossy one) and ask what you can do. If they’re be­ing salty, take it upon your­self to do some­thing ex­tra that will get your group bonus points. Ex­plore dif­fer­ent re­lated topics, pre­pare a neat side-hus­tle pre­sen­ta­tion and be­come the un­likely hero of the group project.

I didn’t read the book

In­stead of read­ing Othello over the week­end like your teacher asked, you were read­ing fan­fic. Fair enough, we would do the same. Shake­speare, tbh, you could be steamier. But when you only have a few hours to learn a book from front to back, Wikipedia isn’t go­ing to cut it. To get the TL;DR ver­sion of Shake­speare’s ye olde text, head to a web­site called nfs.spar­knotes.com. They have trans­lated ev­ery sin­gle one of his plays into ev­ery­day English and even have ex­pla­na­tions of what his cryptic af phrases mean. If it’s just a reg­u­lar book, head to shmoop.com. They’ve sum­marised and an­a­lysed all the themes for most books you’ll be study­ing at school. Read up, get ed­u­cated and make your­self the #1 stan of your class text.

Wait, we had to keep a journal?

Keep­ing a journal or a log­book for sub­jects can be as te­dious as clean­ing your makeup brushes, but it has to be done. The point of your log – whether it’s dr ama or vis­ual arts – is for you to keep your­self on track. Luck­ily, this is also one of those things where you can eas­ily cut corners with­out any­one fig­ur­ing it out. Write down a bunch of dates through­out the term. Then, as­sign a ‘process’ or ‘step’ of your project to each date. Write down how you feel, add a few pic­tures, sketch some ideas, throw in a few dot points un­til your book looks quite full. If you stay on task, this mun­dane task can be done in as lit­tle as two hours. You’re wel­come.

You were day­dream­ing and the teacher asked you a ques­tion

Some call it “not pay­ing at­ten­tion”, but we pre­fer to call it “putting your imag­i­na­tion to the test”. The se­cret? MAKE SOME­THING UP. While you gather your thoughts and try to fig­ure out what the heck she was talk­ing about, make your best con­cen­tra­tion face and throw in a: “Hmm, I mean, it de­pends which way you look at it.” Pro­ceed to give your teacher an opin­ion on what you’re study­ing. It may not be what they’re look­ing for but, hey, it’s some­thing. If you have mind-blanked, tell your teacher a fun fact. You’ll get points for par­tic­i­pa­tion and maybe some points for ef­fort.

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