My par­ents pre­fer my sib­ling

Urgh! As if sib­ling ri­valry isn’t bad enough and then your par­ents start play­ing faves!

Girlfriend - - CONTENTS -

How to deal with this tricky sitch

Let’s be real, there’s no com­pe­ti­tion with our sib that’s too big or small. We’ll com­pete about any­thing from school grades to sport matches to who loves Harry Styles the most. If it can be made into a con­test, we’re game!

And ac­tu­ally, sib­ling ri­valry is all kinds of nor­mal. It’s been backed by science as a to­tally stan­dard and quite healthy part of grow­ing up.

And there’s an un­spo­ken rule that our folks are there to be the un­bi­ased cheer­lead­ers of our lives and keep the sib-riv on kinda friendly terms, right? But it doesn’t al­ways hap­pen. Some ’rents, no mat­ter how hotly they deny it, seem to out­right play favourites. They shower one of us with all the glory while they nit-pick the other.

All good if you are the Golden Child that week/month/year/decade but what if you’re the one play­ing the bit-part in the movie that is your fam­ily life? Well, in short, it kinda sucks. But it’s not al­ways as black and white as it seems. We’ve put to­gether a list of the four most com­mon prob­lems and how to han­dle them...

Ewww, it’s su­per an­noy­ing when a younger sib is al­lowed to do some­thing that was strictly off-lim­its to you at that age.

In an ideal world, par­ents would treat us all equally but we’re guess­ing that’s not go­ing to hap­pen any­time soon. Here’s a lit­tle in­sight. Our folks le­git have no clue about par­ent­ing when they wel­come their first child. They just get su­per weird and pro­tec­tive and hand out eight mil­lion rules. Then the next kid comes along and they’re su­per chill be­cause they think they’ve got this! Now, it’s an­noy­ing but it’s im­por­tant to re­mem­ber your sib didn’t make the rules so unite rather than take it out on each other. And in­stead of hav­ing a scream­ing match with the ’rents, take a chilled ap­proach and try to ne­go­ti­ate a mid­dle ground.

From the way you walk to your daily wardrobe choices, it feels like your par­ents dis­like ev­ery life de­ci­sion you make and they are oh-so vo­cal about it. That’s even harder when your sib is hailed like they’re a vis­it­ing royal, rather than a RL mem­ber of the house.

Now, our ad­vice here is this: Your par­ents have an idea of what they would like you to be but re­ally, you are an in­cred­i­ble in­di­vid­ual and it’s im­por­tant to stay true to you. In time, they will get used to it. And one day, when that in­cred­i­ble in­di­vid­u­al­ity pays off, like your quirky style is trans­formed into a ca­reer in fash­ion, you can be smug that your idea of you was the best. And re­mem­ber, they re­ally do love you, de­spite how it might come across. They freak­ing made you, after all.

This is one of the trick­i­est to tackle. It feels like at Christ­mas, you get way fewer presents, right? And at birth­days, you get a crappy store-bought cake while your sis­ter gets one he­li­coptered in by Ar­i­ana Grande that was cre­ated by an award-win­ning chef in Paris. Bit dra­matic, but you get what we’re say­ing. Once again, par­ents should treat us all equally. But the rea­son they don’t, es­pe­cially in this case, is of­ten less about favouritism. In fact, when a ’rent sees one of their kids strug­gling – maybe with school or friend­ships – their need to pro­tect goes into over­drive. Yeah, it sucks for you but try to con­sider it like this: they think you are killing it at life RN so try not to sweat the small de­tails. And, ac­tu­ally, a store-bought cake is still del­ish.

What if your par­ents come out and ad­mit they have a favourite and, worst of all, it isn’t you? Yep, that’s what we call a Kris Jen­ner sit­u­a­tion. The re­al­ity TV ma­tri­arch ad­mits she ro­tates her favourites. It’s be­lieved to be down to who is earn­ing the most, with Kylie usu­ally com­ing out on top.

But it’s mostly a par­ent­ing tac­tic to mo­ti­vate you to do some­thing. Like, work harder at school like your bro, or do some ex­tra sport like your sis. And guess what? You prob­a­bly do it to your ’rents also. Ever played favourites when you know Dad is most likely to buckle? Doesn’t mean you love ei­ther of them less, right? So, the best way to take the sting out of the words is to tell them how you feel. Best part? They’ll be so shocked you’re adult­ing them on con­ver­sa­tion. Win­ner!

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