The big O

We know the thought of talk­ing about or­gasms with your friends is cringe­wor­thy. That’s what we’re here for! We give you a gig­gle-free ex­pla­na­tion about what hap­pens to your body when you cli­max.

Girlfriend - - THE DL -

You might have heard your friends talk about them at school, watched some­one pre­tend to have one in a movie or ex­pe­ri­enced one your­self in pri­vate. Hav­ing an or­gasm is to­tally nat­u­ral and it’s part of dis­cov­er­ing your body when you reach sex­ual ma­tu­rity, but it can be se­ri­ously blush-wor­thy to talk to other peo­ple about. Most peo­ple also keep their ex­pe­ri­ences pri­vate, and there’s a lot of mis­con­cep­tions about how they hap­pen! So we’re gonna give you a DL...


Also known as com­ing/cum­ming or cli­max­ing, an or­gasm hap­pens when the mus­cles in­side the vagina, anus and uterus con­tract then re­lease a build-up of sex­ual ten­sion. In the lead-up, you might feel tin­gling in the gen­i­tals as blood flow to the area in­creases, a faster heart rate and wet­ness in the vagina. Your cli­toris also swells dur­ing arousal. When you cli­max, your body re­leases the feel-good hor­mones

dopamine and oxy­tocin. But or­gasms are dif­fer­ent for every­body. While some peo­ple ex­pe­ri­ence them dur­ing sex, other women say they only cli­max if they are mas­tur­bat­ing – and that’s to­tally OK. Even for each in­di­vid­ual per­son, or­gasms can change in in­ten­sity and du­ra­tion.


If you feel pres­sure to or­gasm dur­ing in­ter­course, it likely won’t hap­pen. Men find it a hel­luva lot eas­ier to reach cli­max and many women rarely or never have an or­gasm dur­ing sex. There are lots of dif­fer­ent ways you can ex­pe­ri­ence plea­sure – with a part­ner or alone – so don’t put pres­sure on your­self. Only you can de­ter­mine what is nor­mal for you. Re­mem­ber the age of con­sent is 16 (17 in SA and Tas) and a good sex­ual ex­pe­ri­ence comes from be­ing with a part­ner you trust and love and only do­ing it when you’re com­pletely ready.


Many fe­males only have an or­gasm when they’re alone. This might hap­pen from in­sert­ing their fingers into their vagina, but usu­ally it comes from stim­u­lat­ing the cli­toris. They vary in shape and size from per­son to per­son, but the cli­toris is usu­ally about the size of a pea and sits at the base of the pu­bic mound. It has about 8000 nerve end­ings so it’s su­per sen­si­tive and its only func­tion is for plea­sure. A cli­toral or­gasm usu­ally feels like a buildup of ex­cite­ment, then it’s over with a bang.


Re­mem­ber, there’s no rush to start ex­plor­ing your body, and when you do it’s meant to feel good, not stress­ful or awk­ward. So if you’re not ready to ex­plore, then it’s all good, girl! There is ab­so­lutely no rush or ex­pec­ta­tion for you to do this at all. What hap­pens to your body is com­pletely your choice.

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