Psychologist Jennifer Garth answers your queries
PSYCHOLOGIST JENNIFER GARTH TACKLES LOVER’S QUARRELS, BEDROOM ISSUES, AND WHY THERAPY ISN’T JUST A QUICK FIX
My fiancé and I don’t share the same tastes and disagree on many things. Is that a sign we’re not compatible and shouldn’t marry?
AThe ideal partner isn’t someone who shares your every taste – but someone who is good at negotiating differences. If you want a harmonious marriage, you will both need to learn to ‘agree to disagree’. Start by acknowledging that your partner’s point of view is every bit as genuinely felt by him, as your own. Next, you will need to get in the habit of self-validating when his difference of opinion threatens you in some way. When you no longer need your partner to validate your opinion, you’re in a better position to reconcile your differences in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship.