Psy­chol­o­gist Jen­nifer Garth an­swers your queries

PSY­CHOL­O­GIST JEN­NIFER GARTH TACK­LES LOVER’S QUARRELS, BED­ROOM IS­SUES, AND WHY THER­APY ISN’T JUST A QUICK FIX

Good Health (Australia) - - Content -

My fi­ancé and I don’t share the same tastes and dis­agree on many things. Is that a sign we’re not com­pat­i­ble and shouldn’t marry?

AThe ideal part­ner isn’t some­one who shares your ev­ery taste – but some­one who is good at ne­go­ti­at­ing dif­fer­ences. If you want a har­mo­nious mar­riage, you will both need to learn to ‘agree to dis­agree’. Start by ac­knowl­edg­ing that your part­ner’s point of view is ev­ery bit as gen­uinely felt by him, as your own. Next, you will need to get in the habit of self-val­i­dat­ing when his dif­fer­ence of opin­ion threat­ens you in some way. When you no longer need your part­ner to val­i­date your opin­ion, you’re in a bet­ter po­si­tion to rec­on­cile your dif­fer­ences in a way that doesn’t dam­age your re­la­tion­ship.

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