Choose Happy
Make decisions that will make you happy.
Make decisions that will make you happy says Dr Alice Boyes
Are you considering a major decision, like going back to university, having a baby, starting a business, moving, or a career switch? How can you know if that decision will make you happy in the long run? Humans are very good or very bad at making major life decisions, depending on your perspective. For example, many people remain content with who they marry, but a significant proportion don’t. Perfect decisions are impossible, but try these tips to improve your decision making.
Test it out If you’re thinking about moving to a tiny house or buying a particular model of car, rent one for longer than a few days and experience it. If you’re contemplating a career change, ask to shadow someone in that career. Think you want to build your own house? Help on a construction project. Depending on what change you’re considering, you may need to be creative to find a way to pre-test whether you’ll like it as much as you hope.
Project yourself into the future People have a hard time imagining their future selves. For decisions with a long-term impact, imagine yourself at various time points in the future. If you’re 30, imagine the impact of the decision when you’re 40, 50, 60, etc.
Approach your project in a way that suits you Back in 2014, my family downsized to a much smaller home. But we didn’t go super tiny. Our home is a little over 100m2, on a large section, with a pool. At times, particular approaches to life changes become trendy, like tiny homes on trailers with loft beds and composting toilets. If you look beyond the trendy version of an idea, you may see a different version that has the plusses you want, but avoids downsides that would drive you batty.
Allow yourself to be surprised When I moved to the US, I was sure I was going to live in New York City. In reality, the harsh winters and grind of taking the subway wore me down. I moved to sunny Las Vegas. In no universe would I have predicted Vegas being a good fit. Since we can’t make perfect predictions, be prepared to pivot. The more open you are, the more self-knowledge you’ll gain.
The more actively you pursue your dreams, the better you’ll understand yourself At least when a decision is reversible, err towards exploring life changes that interest you. People often need an external push to make a life change. For example, COVID-19 has caused many people to reevaluate living in expensive cities. Train yourself to take a broad view of your available life choices, so you don’t need an external catalyst. The more fresh paths you follow, the better you’ll get at understanding what you enjoy, and the less you’ll get stuck with your status quo by default. If you never make off-the-beaten-path decisions, your capacity to predict what you’ll enjoy will be less well developed.
Improve your creative problem-solving I remember fearing becoming a parent because I’m an extreme night owl. I feared getting a child who wanted to be up at 6am every morning. Luckily, my child is an owl too. Traditional schools with early start times won’t work for us, but I trust my creativity enough to find a workaround. The better your problem-solving skills are, the easier it will be to find a version of a change that still works for you.
You don’t need to always take a purely analytical approach to major life decisions. Gut and heart play a role too. However, you can use self-knowledge to find the versions of choices you’re attracted to that will best suit you.