THE BEST GIFT YOU COULD GIVE YOURSELF
Give yourself the best gift of LOVE
This article is about love. It is the best gift you could give yourself. If you love yourself a lot you will be able to make healthy decisions about your body, your relationships, your work and your life purpose. If your level of self-love is low, (everyone loves themselves at least a little) then you will find it difficult to identify and act on positive and life-giving ideas and opportunities.
Lack of self-love makes it very difficult to find the will to make positive changes in our eating, exercise, mental and spiritual habits. For a while we might make progress and then for no clear reason, we lose all focus and return to our selfdefeating habits. We commonly blame ourselves for being ‘lazy or lacking in will-power’ and that makes our selflove go even lower. This is a toxic cycle and cannot be broken unless we make progress in our ability to love who and what we are. Give yourself the best gift of love and break this toxic cycle.
I imagine you may be thinking, ‘Oh, no. I have tried to love myself for years and I have such a hard time of it. Will I ever be
able to love who I am?’ I used to think that way so don’t despair. I made great progress with this issue and you can also. It takes a bit of work but there is no work more worthwhile than learning to love yourself. It benefits you and all who know you.
THE BIG QUESTION: HOW DO I LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF A LOT MORE THAN I DO RIGHT NOW? 1. Let’s start with the awareness that you already love yourself at least a little bit.
I am not trying to use some ‘pop psychology’ on you. You actually have a part of you that already loves you and will sometimes assert itself and guide you to do something self-loving – like reading an article about increasing your self-love. If you want to make big progress in your ability to love you, then you will be wise to believe me on this one. You have a part of you, a basic and indestructible part, that loves who you are, no matter what you have done or failed to do. There are many names for this part, both psychological and spiritual, but it does not have to be named to exist and influence your life.
2. Nurture and strengthen that self loving part until it takes over and guides your thinking and acting.
Then you will experience a healing miracle in just about every aspect of your daily life, work and relationships. You will be guided by a love that really cares about your well-being and your decisions will constantly reflect that guidance.
HERE IS A SIMPLE EXERCISE IN INCREASING SELF-LOVE THAT I HAVE SHARED WITH MANY OF MY CLIENTS:
Everyone wins when you love yourself much more than you do now.
Ask the following question as many times a day as you can remember, then do what seems right.
• ‘If I loved myself, what would I do right now?’
• Now act on your answer in a meaningful way.
• In 30 days you will be amazed!
My clients have used it to make great strides in their ability to love themselves and so can you. The exercise is deceptively simple and far more powerful than you may imagine until you try it for 30 days. This is the best gift you could give yourself. Go for it. You are worth the effort.
Dr Matthew Anderson has a Doctor of Ministry specialising in counselling. He has extensive training and experience in Gestalt and Jungian Psychology and has helped many people successfully navigate relationship issues. Dr Anderson has a best-selling book, ‘The Resurrection of Romance’ and may be contacted on his Website.