WHEN LIFE IS TOO HARD

Did you ever have a time when life is too hard? Here’s help

Great Health Guide - - CONTENTS - Leanne Allen

Did you ever have a time when life is too hard? That there was so much go­ing on around you and you couldn’t cope? Per­haps you are say­ing ‘Yes, I feel like that right now’.

The good news is that we have all felt that way and prob­a­bly will again. The bet­ter news is that it will pass, we will fig­ure it out and life will be calm again. There are prac­ti­cal things that you can do to help.

So, what are the steps to make it STOP.

1. STOP WOR­RY­ING.

This may sound silly, but it is the most un­pro­duc­tive thing you can do! Worry just digs your hole even deeper. It does not help you find the so­lu­tion. When you give your­self the chance to stop wor­ry­ing, a space is cre­ated to see the so­lu­tion.

2. STOP THINK­ING ABOUT IT.

This is re­lated to ‘stop wor­ry­ing’. Think­ing about the prob­lems in your world will not make them dis­ap­pear. So, go and DO some­thing pos­i­tive. Go for a walk, ex­er­cise, dance, lis­ten to loud mu­sic, watch a com­edy, read a pos­i­tive book, talk to a great friend about some­thing else.

3. STOP TALK­ING ABOUT IT.

First a dis­claimer here, it de­pends on who you are talk­ing to! If you are talk­ing to a pro­fes­sional and seek­ing ad­vice; fan­tas­tic, great choice. If you are talk­ing to a good friend who will help you or­gan­ise your thoughts that over­whelm, also a good choice.

If you are post­ing all your stuff on so­cial me­dia, this is a very bad choice! It will

keep you stuck in the prob­lem be­cause now ev­ery­one is com­ment­ing and say­ing, ‘Oh poor you’.

4. CHOOSE VERY CARE­FULLY WHO YOU TALK TO.

There are peo­ple who love a good bit of gos­sip or a sad story and they have no idea how to make you feel bet­ter, other than agree­ing with you or telling you their own sad story.

If you have a friend who is a great lis­tener and can keep your prob­lems con­fi­den­tial then choose them. Some­times ad­vice is not what you need, rather an op­por­tu­nity to talk out aloud can help you clear away your wor­ries.

5. GET OUT INTO NA­TURE.

Noth­ing is as cleans­ing for the soul as get­ting out in na­ture. For some peo­ple that means the beach, oth­ers the bush. If you can’t do ei­ther sim­ply go to a park, or your back yard, take off your shoes, close your eyes and feel the grass be­tween your toes! It can also be re­ally calm­ing to lie on the grass and just watch the clouds sail by. The idea here is to fo­cus on na­ture and your body and noth­ing else. There are lots of mind­ful­ness ex­er­cises you can search for on­line to help, click here for some ex­am­ples. Be sure to breath slowly and deeply whilst you do this.

WHAT TO AVOID WHEN LIFE IS TOO HARD.

To­day, un­for­tu­nately many peo­ple turn to ad­dic­tive or avoidant be­hav­iours to help them cope, with al­co­hol, gam­bling, pornog­ra­phy, shop­ping, food, one-night stands or paid sex. This has be­come so­cially ac­cept­able but in the long run it does not help. It makes the sit­u­a­tion worse in many cases, es­pe­cially if it is stress due to fi­nan­cial rea­sons!

If you feel like you want to in­dulge in some­thing that is not help­ful, it might be time to seek pro­fes­sional help. Also, if you try do­ing the pos­i­tive steps above and you just can’t shake the feel­ing that noth­ing will ever change, al­ways con­sider your op­tions. There are many al­ter­na­tives such as a psy­chol­o­gist, coun­sel­lor, GP, coach, or a helpline like Life­line (13 11 14 in Aus­tralia). There are also places like com­mu­nity cen­tres or health cen­tres where you can speak to a case worker who can ad­vise on where to get help, when life is too hard.

Leanne Allen (BA Psych(Hons)), Is the Prin­ci­ple Psy­chol­o­gist at Re­con­nect Well­ness Cen­tre. She has trained in Sand­play Ther­apy, NLP and CBT and has had ex­ten­sive train­ing in re­la­tion­ship ther­apy. Leanne has also com­pleted train­ing as a life coach. Her ap­proach is to look for­ward whilst re­leas­ing the trauma of the past. Con­nect with Leanne via email, web­site or at her of­fice on 1300 132 252.

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