WHEN LIFE IS TOO HARD
Did you ever have a time when life is too hard? Here’s help
Did you ever have a time when life is too hard? That there was so much going on around you and you couldn’t cope? Perhaps you are saying ‘Yes, I feel like that right now’.
The good news is that we have all felt that way and probably will again. The better news is that it will pass, we will figure it out and life will be calm again. There are practical things that you can do to help.
So, what are the steps to make it STOP.
1. STOP WORRYING.
This may sound silly, but it is the most unproductive thing you can do! Worry just digs your hole even deeper. It does not help you find the solution. When you give yourself the chance to stop worrying, a space is created to see the solution.
2. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
This is related to ‘stop worrying’. Thinking about the problems in your world will not make them disappear. So, go and DO something positive. Go for a walk, exercise, dance, listen to loud music, watch a comedy, read a positive book, talk to a great friend about something else.
3. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.
First a disclaimer here, it depends on who you are talking to! If you are talking to a professional and seeking advice; fantastic, great choice. If you are talking to a good friend who will help you organise your thoughts that overwhelm, also a good choice.
If you are posting all your stuff on social media, this is a very bad choice! It will
keep you stuck in the problem because now everyone is commenting and saying, ‘Oh poor you’.
4. CHOOSE VERY CAREFULLY WHO YOU TALK TO.
There are people who love a good bit of gossip or a sad story and they have no idea how to make you feel better, other than agreeing with you or telling you their own sad story.
If you have a friend who is a great listener and can keep your problems confidential then choose them. Sometimes advice is not what you need, rather an opportunity to talk out aloud can help you clear away your worries.
5. GET OUT INTO NATURE.
Nothing is as cleansing for the soul as getting out in nature. For some people that means the beach, others the bush. If you can’t do either simply go to a park, or your back yard, take off your shoes, close your eyes and feel the grass between your toes! It can also be really calming to lie on the grass and just watch the clouds sail by. The idea here is to focus on nature and your body and nothing else. There are lots of mindfulness exercises you can search for online to help, click here for some examples. Be sure to breath slowly and deeply whilst you do this.
WHAT TO AVOID WHEN LIFE IS TOO HARD.
Today, unfortunately many people turn to addictive or avoidant behaviours to help them cope, with alcohol, gambling, pornography, shopping, food, one-night stands or paid sex. This has become socially acceptable but in the long run it does not help. It makes the situation worse in many cases, especially if it is stress due to financial reasons!
If you feel like you want to indulge in something that is not helpful, it might be time to seek professional help. Also, if you try doing the positive steps above and you just can’t shake the feeling that nothing will ever change, always consider your options. There are many alternatives such as a psychologist, counsellor, GP, coach, or a helpline like Lifeline (13 11 14 in Australia). There are also places like community centres or health centres where you can speak to a case worker who can advise on where to get help, when life is too hard.
Leanne Allen (BA Psych(Hons)), Is the Principle Psychologist at Reconnect Wellness Centre. She has trained in Sandplay Therapy, NLP and CBT and has had extensive training in relationship therapy. Leanne has also completed training as a life coach. Her approach is to look forward whilst releasing the trauma of the past. Connect with Leanne via email, website or at her office on 1300 132 252.