WHAT ARE YOU AVOIDING?
Are you afraid of what you may feel if you stop & look?
Comparison is a trap that we can all fall into.
How many articles have you read about how to be thin enough, successful enough? How many articles are there asking, ‘when will you achieve your dreams?’ What does this do to you? What effect does this have on you?
THE AGE OF COMPARISON.
Social media has brought many pressures. There are many benefits but the one trap that affects so many of us is the power of comparison. Our need to display the contented lives we believe we are required to live, via posts on Facebook and Instagram, are second to none. We think we can only bring the high points of our lives as if that is all there is, when you know there is more. What are you avoiding?
WHAT DO YOU DO TO QUIETEN THAT VOICE?
• Drink too much? • Seek out food when angry or sad? • Expect yourself to work hard all the time? Authenticity is vital for good mental health. When we measure ourselves against something that is not genuine, we will always fall short of the mark. When we avoid ourselves, peace becomes out-ofreach and we will do anything rather than be true to ourselves.
WHAT ARE YOU AVOIDING?
Overuse of alcohol depresses our emotions and prevents us from feeling pain and if you supress one emotion you suppress all of them. Working too
much can result in exhaustion and once again avoidance. Expecting yourself to be a certain way in an obsessive way, will always lead to suppression of emotions. Ultimately, if you suppress any emotions, you will suppress all of them, even joy! ARE YOU AFRAID OF WHAT YOU MAY FEEL IF YOU STOP AND LOOK? Over the years, I have sat with many clients who are facing excessive stress. Stress of itself is not bad or the cause of a mental health issue. But excessive stress is detrimental to our well-being. Emotions that are supressed can bring a sickness to our bodies that is totally all encompassing. By processing emotions, we are given the space to process our feelings and engage with them, we may be surprised at how different we feel. How free we are. Instead of shame preventing us from be honest with ourselves, we find ourselves able to process our thoughts and emotions with clarity.
WHERE DO YOU START?
Anywhere, is my answer, just start. There are many support groups out there, that will support you through the stages. The most important step is going through the door and moving past denial. Or you could find a coach or therapist to help you understand what is going on.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH ADDICTION?
Check out this list. • Do you plan your day around what you need to eat, drink or do? • Do you get anxious when you are unable to access the above? • Do you cancel activities in order to meet the above need(s)? • Is your anxiety increasing at this moment as you read these questions? You are not alone. The whole point of a support group is exactly that, for support. It is invaluable to have a confidential space where you can learn to trust and be authentic with yourself and others. Everything starts with pushing your boat out of the perceived safety of the harbour. You can’t discover new oceans unless you have courage to leave the shore.