SETTING BOUNDARIES
Healthy boundaries are essential for a fulfilled & balanced life.
DO
you find yourself doing what others want to do and then feeling violated or angry? Do you feel frustrated for not standing up for what you want or what you don’t want? This might be because you have not set healthy boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are essential for a fulfilled and balanced life. You are the only one who can determine what those boundaries are, which means that you must know yourself. The better you know yourself, the better you can understand and choose the kind of experiences that you want to have.
If you are a people pleaser, it can be challenging to communicate what your needs are to someone you care about, for fear of losing their respect. The truth is that when you stand up for who you are, people will respect you more and they will feel inspired to do the same in their lives. What happens if you don’t set boundaries?
The risk of not setting boundaries is losing your self-worth and living someone else’s life. If you don’t set your own boundaries, others won’t know how you expect to be treated. Think of a time when you didn’t stand up for who you are and what you wanted. How did you feel? Think of a time when you did stand up for yourself and what was important to you. How did you feel?
Healthy boundaries are essential for a fulfilled & balanced life.
There will be times when you widen your boundaries to include what someone else needs or wants, without violating your values or morals. The difference is that you are consciously choosing this boundary. When I am unclear what the best choice is, I ask myself, ‘What is the greatest good for the greatest number of people in this situation?’ Take time to listen for the right answer!
The following are some helpful hints for you, to begin to set personal boundaries.
1. Self-awareness
Be aware of why you are choosing to do something. How does it make you feel? Is it for the best outcome?
2. How to set boundaries
It takes practice and courage to communicate to others with respect. Use specific language, find someone who will support you. Not everyone will understand but you will feel confident as you communicate with honesty and respect.
3. What are your internal boundaries?
Take time to understand what it means to you. It could be challenging your negative or limiting thoughts. Being strongminded, setting intentions and staying away from behavior that leads you to unhealthy habits. For example, when you are tired or stressed, you might tend to eat unhealthily. Choose to do something else instead, such as exercising.
4. Set your boundaries without feeling guilty.
Learn to look at setting boundaries as something positive instead of something complicated or difficult. You might want to make a list of reasons for why it is essential to set boundaries and what will happen if you don’t. Start by setting simple boundaries and practice communicating with grace, respect and confidence. Be persistent if you face resistance.
Find people who support you setting boundaries. The more you practice, the easier it will become and the more fulfilled and the happier you will be. Permitting yourself to have boundaries will inspire others also, to find and set their boundaries too.
Terry Sidford has been a certified life coach in the United States for the past 15 years and has assisted scores of people in achieving their dreams. More information is available from Terry’s website.