COMMUNICATE BY LISTENING WELL

You can overcome feelings of isolation by listening to others

Are you a good listener? We can all learn to communicate more effectively if we communicate by listening well. This leads to better understanding of the communication that is received.

People are naturally social and communicate in groups, churches, and sporting venues. If socialization is prevented, then our communication skills will have to change, and we will have to listen more attentively. In these unprecedent times with COVID-19 pandemic, many countries, communities, families and friends, have been forced into self-isolation. Social distancing is also the norm. This isolation and removal of closeness of humans is extremely hard on our social structure and cohesion. So, we must communicate more effectively which requires good listening skills. Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. It is a powerful tool that can open your ability to communicate and understand. Listening is the key to all effective communication. The impact is far reaching in many areas of your life. It effects your confidence, the quality of your relationships, as well as learning and understanding. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages can easily be misunderstood.

Listening well is a skill on which you can improve. The first step is to become aware of your current listening skills:

• How long does your attention span last when communicating with others?

• How long, on average, do you feel people stay tuned into what you are saying?

• How often to you feel you duplicate what you wanted someone to hear?

• How often or what percent of the time

do you feel 100% heard?

Research suggests that we only remember between 25-50% of what we hear. Becoming a better listener improves your wellbeing, ability to influence or negotiate. You also avoid misunderstandings. These are all important skills needed to navigate success in the workplace and relationships in general. Listening is so much more than hearing. It is what happens when we open our minds, and sometimes our hearts to another person.

There are two different types of listening:

1. Listening from your own experiences and thoughts.

2. Listening as if you knew nothing and were standing in the other persons shoes. Think of it as a clean slate as if you are learning a new language for the first time. You sense the tone of voice, body movement and how they are feeling. You might even give a new meaning to a word or phrase.

Which type of listening do you think will have the best results?

Helpful tips:

• Concentrate on what someone is trying to tell you.

• Listen with the intent to understand.

• Check to see if you understood them correctly by repeating back to them what you heard and ask if that is correct?

• Let them know you are actively listening by looking directly at them, nod or smile or say, ‘Yes’ or ‘I understand’.

Mastering the art of listening to understand will transform your confidence level and feeling of competency. This improves your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships. Start today and take your own inventory of how well you listen. Use one helpful tip a day and before you know it, you will create a new skill and secret weapon that makes others feel important and understood. You may also learn something new, something you never would have learned with your old way of listening. You will be able to communicate much more effectively during this time of social isolation caused by COVID-19 pandemic.

Terry Sidford has been a certified life coach in the United States for the past 15 years and has assisted scores of people in achieving their dreams. More information is available from Terry’s website.

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything, So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.

- Larry King