SESSION SHENANIGANS
The studio guitarist’s guide to happiness and personal fulfilment, as related by session ace Mitch Dalton. This month: Make Mine A Double.
It seems from the available evidence that Homo Sapiens Mark 1 is not without one or two key design faults. Sadly, we still await a software update that addresses important security and operating issues, unlike any smartphone that justifies the prefix. I’m referring to the human inability to learn from mistakes. So I take pleasure in reporting that on one occasion early in my travails as a recording roustabout, I bucked this trend, to commercial advantage.
Back then, when TV ‘jingle’ sessions were an actual thing, I was invited to perform on a 30-second item, most likely in order to sell cat litter or toilet cleaner. Maybe both. The sticking point was the enquiry “You do play flamenco guitar don’t you?” With heavy heart and suicidal artistic integrity, I found myself declining the offer of pecuniary advancement. “Oh dear. I’m not sure that I’m competent to perform in the style of a Paco Pena or a Paco de Lucia. It’s a highly specialised art form that requires a lifetime of study. So I must refuse your kind offer.” And with that, my caller was gone, never to trouble my diary service again. Ever. A week later the commercial for Kitty-Krap or Liquid Lemon-Loo appeared between breaks in Coronation Street. To my chagrin, the centuries old cultural tradition of Spanish folk music had been distilled into a single strummed open E Major chord, moved up by one semitone but retaining the open bottom and top two strings. Then back to E. It would be stretching the imagination to describe it as an ethnic tour de force. The challenge would not have dismayed anyone who had ventured as far as page 3 of Mr Weedon’s respected tome, Play In A Day.
A few months later, I was booked to play Spanish guitar on a TV series entitled By The Sword Divided. However, my future employability on this English Civil War caper was caveated by the enquiry, “You play the mandolin don’t you? It’s required on one cue.”
This time I was primed and ready. I answered in the affirmative without missing a beat, requested that the part be sent in advance. I was on my way to Ivor Mairants Musicentre before my muesli had morphed into a mandolin. My new motto was now ‘Earn As You Learn.’ As any fule kno, the instrument that evokes Italy like no other is tuned like a violin, G-D-A-E. And with care not to play the second string as if tuned to a guitar B (easily done), one can convince the average director that you possess the tremolo technique of a Venetian virtuoso. Or, you can employ the strategy favoured by the legendary Tommy Tedesco (‘The World’s Most Recorded Guitarist’). He merely brought two mandolins to the session, each tuned to the top and bottom four strings of the guitar respectively. Splendido!
I have been doubling on the five-string banjo from the start of my session sojourns. I confess to tuning the instrument in Tedesco style but have discovered that by adapting my classical technique, I can evoke sounds nearer to Nashville than Neasden. I even managed to gain the approbation of the Big Yin himself on one occasion when participating in An Evening With Billy Connolly. I like to think that it was for musical rather than comedic reasons. The banjo is the butt of a thousand jibes but is in reality an instrument worthy of your time and attention. And it’s surprisingly versatile. I once recorded a pop album for a Japanese producer on which it blended mellifluously with traditional instruments. But without the hassle of negotiating 13 mind-boggling strings.
Then there is the ukulele, an instrument that grows ever more popular and thus in-demand in the corridors of commerce. Do not be discouraged by the G-C-E-A tuning (‘My Dog Has Fleas’), in which the third string G sounds higher than its C neighbour. And fear not when negotiating a strummed chord sequence - the shapes are the same but played up a 5th. Thus, a chord of G is played as a D shape. Simple, especially if one arrives early and transposes the chart.
And now for the bouzouki, strung with four courses and tuned to the same intervals as the upper strings of the guitar. Your mission is to call the copyist in advance and ensure that he/she writes your parts up a tone. You’ll have a happier life. It’s a transposing instrument. Which is how I came to record the soundtrack to Shirley Valentine and hear the immortal quip from my late, great colleague, Martin Kershaw. Our Musical Director, the legendary Harry Rabinowitz, was frustrated with the intonation issues in our bouzouki ensemble, drawn mainly from the kebab establishments of North London. “I’m sorry, but you’re all badly out of tune. Please address the problem.” In a flash Martin turned to our Greek colleagues, smiled benignly and said - “Gentlemen, can we take an Alpha?”
Every culture has its own family of fretted instruments. And at some point you will be asked the dreaded question. It could be the balalaika, the oud, or the chirango. Your response will be governed by the size of both your overdraft and your house extension. And the will to live. But remember, possession is nine-10ths of the gig. You can shed the other 10%. Ask any saxophone player...
For more on Mitch and his musical exploits with the Studio Kings, go to: www.mitchdalton.co.uk
“I EVEN MANAGED TO GAIN THE APPROBATION OF THE BIG YIN HIMSELF, WHEN PARTICIPATING IN AN EVENING WITH BILLY CONNOLLY”