AS PAR­ENTS, OUR JOBS ARE FULL ON. NO GUIDE­BOOK COMES WITH OUR LIT­TLE PEEPS - THEY ARE ALL UNIQUE IN­DI­VID­U­ALS AND WE RAISE THEM ALL DIF­FER­ENTLY. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY - JUST OUR WAY. NOTH­ING TAKES AWAY THE 24/7 OF OUR JOB AS PAR­ENTS. IT’S OF­TEN MA

Haven Magazine - - Front Page -

Our pre­cious lit­tle be­ings are de­mand­ing of our at­ten­tion, which changes over know, the one we have in our mind) there doesn’t seem to be a chap­ter on ‘time-out for par­ents’. So how do we make this hap­pen? What stops us putting pri­or­ity on our­selves in­stead of con­stantly on our chil­dren? Is it be­cause our par­ents didn’t take time for them­selves, now we model this be­hav­iour? Could it be we are work­ing ev­ery op­por­tu­nity pro­vid­ing more (big­ger, bet­ter) or sim­ply pro­vid­ing for them? Could it be we feel un­able to leave them with some­one for the day, night or even week­end? What would it be like to take a mini break alone or with our part­ner? Would we feel guilty tak­ing per­sonal us/me time? Maybe our­selves? The amaz­ing Jim Rohn said: “If you re­ally want to do some­thing, you will be­cause of some­thing else ie. money, time, sup­port, busy-busy, peo­ple to see, chil­dren’s par­ties, sport­ing ac­tiv­i­ties etc. If we don’t give our­selves per­mis­sion to take time out, even for one day, we build up re­sent­ment. Op­er­at­ing from the space of re­sent­ment sup­ports in­ter­nal anger, sad­ness, lone­li­ness, frus­tra­tion, bit­ter­ness and ir­ri­ta­tion to­wards the small­est things around us. We may even hold grudges against those we love, purely be­cause we have let it build. Hold­ing onto neg­a­tive feel­ings may lead to ill­ness and over time our body goes into dis-ease. Out of bal­ance phys­i­cally, men­tally and spir­i­tu­ally, we get sick. Our thoughts, feel­ings and re­la­tion­ships start head­ing south and things feel out of con­trol. What­ever it is, we are harm­ing our­selves and mod­el­ing this to our chil­dren. They see our be­hav­iour as the norm, they have noth­ing else to base their be­lief sys­tem on. Chil­dren un­con­sciously store our style of be­hav­iour and use it when bring­ing up their chil­dren. What are we mod­el­ing to our chil­dren? They are sponges and we are their every­thing.

BEN­E­FITS OF TAK­ING TIME OUT FOR OUR­SELVES:

• Ex­pe­ri­enc­ing and cre­at­ing mem­o­ries to share with our chil­dren • It gives us time to dream and make plans for the fu­ture • im­prove­ments we can make • Gives breath­ing space to do what­ever we want and al­lows fo­cus on self • Pro­vides an in­tro­duc­tion of in­de­pen­dence for our chil­dren • En­hances the re­la­tion­ship be­tween our chil­dren and who­ever they spend time with.

HOW TO DO IT:

• alone or to­gether? • Choose a date, make the ar­range­ments and DO IT! • Work with a ‘coach’ for sup­port and mo­ti­va­tion •

Words: Deb­bie Hogg

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