JONATHAN CAINER

There comes a point, soon after any event has happened, where most of us swiftly forget doubting whether it would actually occur. That can give us a peculiar perspective on prophecy. An accurate prediction is seen as a statement of the obvious, no matter

ARIES MAR 21–APR 20

Does being an Aries make you speedy or smart? What’s that? Well, yes, I agree. The two are not mutually exclusive. That was well-observed on your part and rapid too. It proves that people born under your sign are, indeed, swift. An astute observation too. Even so, there are two points behind all that I have said so far. The first is a reminder that to be quick is not always the same as to be clever. The second? Be wary of letting others put words into your mouth this weekend, no matter how flattering. Don’t worry about the future. Call me for inspiring news. Call 1902 222 500

TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21

“You are going to have a good weekend.” Now, If I say this to you with my arms folded and a dour look on my face, would you be more inclined to interpret it as an instruction than a prediction? What if I wave my arms a little, smile encouragingly and show you two raised thumbs? Now, doesn’t that sound more like the kind of promise that you won’t have to work too hard to fulfil? Context is key to communication, just as gestures reveal so much about attitude. Trust your eyes as much as your ears this weekend. The future is waiting for you. You are going to love it. Call 1902 222 500.

GEMINI MAY 22–JUN 22

Some people have an apparent passion for pessimism. It extends far further than any mere preference or predilection. This is the kind of wholehearted enthusiasm that can only ever arise from an appetite. It stems from a hunger to hear bad news and an insatiable urge to share trepidation and apprehension with others. Such folk can take the small, almost subliminal, sign of a setback and somehow amplify and inflate it into a veritable Godzilla of gloom. Be wary of unwanted encounters with such story-tellers this weekend. There are insights and revelations in store for you. Call 1902 222 500.

CANCER JUN 23–JUL 23

No matter how noble and principled we may be, we don’t tell the truth to everyone. Even when our candour freely extends to strangers, we may fail to share the benefits of full disclosure with one surprising recipient. That’s the person that we see when we look in the mirror. We tell ourselves tales. We spin ourselves stories. We help ourselves to believe what we most want to believe and to ignore whatever evidence may be inconveniently contradicting that view. Face a fact this weekend, and you may yet beat a demon. You can work magic in your world. Call 1902 222 500.

LEO JUL 24–AUG 23

Have you ever flown in a dream or enjoyed some equally unlikely, unrealistic, experience? Have you perhaps later, in one of those rare half-waking, half-sleeping moments of magic, found yourself wondering why you can’t command such power at will? For all that the people of this world may claim to be realists, in their secret heart of hearts, they are fantasists. Those who seek success, are well advised to respect that perspective. If you want to impress someone this weekend, sympathise with who they think they are. You can alter what you want and make it work for you. Call 1902 222 500.

VIRGO AUG 24–SEP 23

What are you made of? And what, therefore, are you capable of? Too often, we sell ourselves short. We rip ourselves apart like disgruntled guests writing rude Trip Advisor reviews about some poorly run hotel. We see only the flaws and faults. We all but ignore the shining assets. You deserve a better deal this weekend, not just from others but from yourself. Make a real effort to show more respect for what lies at your very essence and the rest of the world will become naturally, magically, inclined to follow suit. There is magic in the stars for you this week. Call 1902 222 500.

LIBRA SEP 24–OCT 23

Librans famously focus on fairness. Well, we wouldn’t expect anything less, would we, from those born under the sign of the balance? But might there be times when, in the process of making an admirable effort to be fair to various other people and principles, you sometimes end up being a little unfair to some other cause that is equally worthy of respect and a whole lot closer to home? Don’t do yourself a disservice this weekend. Place your own needs on at least an equal footing with those of everyone else. If you need some inspiration, this is the week for you! Call 1902 222 500.

SCORPIO OCT 24–NOV 22

As the New Horizons space probe hurtles on towards the Kuiper Belt, each new picture of Pluto that it sends back tells us more about this special celestial object that has been deemed to govern your zodiac sign since its discovery. We see it is engaged in a glorious perpetual dance with four other heavenly bodies. We now know too, that it is notable for a delightful and enormous heart. And while some have questioned its importance of late, all eyes are on it now in awe. Much as they will be on you this weekend. The planets say that wonderful changes are possible. Call 1902 222 500.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23–DEC 21

Remember the Weebles? Once, these were popular children’s toys. Little figurines that sat upright on a hemispherical base. They were sold under the catch-phrase, “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” A bit like Sagittarians. You have been born blessed with an amazing ability to bounce back from almost any adverse encounter. That doesn’t mean, though, that you have to spend your whole life looking for more opportunities to prove your natural resilience. This weekend can be easy if you want it to be. Insights are available to you this week. Find out more. Call 1902 222 500.

CAPRICORN DEC 22–JAN 20

“Anything you can do, I can do better.” So goes the old Irving Berlin song from AnnieGetYourGun. It has stood the test of time because we can all identify with that competitive sentiment. Yet the very fact that we can all identify with it, may be why we shouldn’t see our tendency to want to outdo each another as a facet that renders us unique! Indeed, a special skill that turns out to be worthy of far greater respect, might be the ability to resist the quest for one-upmanship. You need not prove too many points this weekend. Call me if you are looking to make some positive changes: 1902 222 500.

AQUARIUS JAN 21–FEB 19

To pick up where we left off yesterday, the Book of Genesis says, “In the beginning was the word.” But in Professor Hawking’s book, the beginning was a Big Bang. Perhaps these two statements are not as mutually incompatible as they may appear. Perhaps the word in the Bible was a very loud word and that’s why it sounded like such a big bang. There is a dispute of some kind this weekend, over the true origins of some process or plan. Surely, though, all that matters is not where it’s come from but where it’s going next. Great news if you are looking for inspiration and magic. Call 1902 222 500.

PISCES FEB 20–MAR 20

Even those who are resolutely irreligious will soon concede that whoever wrote the Bible knew a thing or two about human nature and they were particularly astute and observant of forbidden fruit. If you want to make something seem attractive and interesting, just ban, prohibit, deny or refute it. Who, if born blessed with an adventurous spirit, would be able to resist it then? You won’t spend your weekend enjoying something that you are not supposed to enjoy, just because you are not supposed to enjoy it, will you? One quick call will cost less than coffee and a cake! Call 1902 222 500.