Christmas trees

COMEDIAN DAVID SMIEDT TAKES AN IRREVERENT, BUT APPRECIATIVE, LOOK AT THE CLASSIC THINGS THAT DEFINE YOU-BEAUT AUSSIE LIFE

It spoke of tradition, of history, and of the fact that even decades on, glitter could still get bloody everywhere.

Then there was the usual argument about who got to place the angel/star on the very top of the tree – thus signalling the end of the decorating process, and an important precursor to seeing whether the twinkling lights would short out the electricity in the house. It was at this point that harried and exhausted parents had to pretend they remembered who received The Honour last year, when they could barely recall that morning’s school run.

Nowadays, of course, many of the trees are cost-effectively artificial and are available in a variety of colours, textures and sizes to match your decor. Some even come stylishly pre-decorated, so that your guests and family are greeted with a corner of your home that looks like something out of a, um, magazine.