Peach’s Cas­tle It­self, Which Was, When You Think About It, Re­ally the Sec­ond Main Char­ac­ter in Su­per Mario 64

Hyper - - FEATURE -

In keep­ing with the Smash Bros tra­di­tion of gen­der im­bal­ance, if you don’t count the am­bi­gu­ity of the ami­ibo, only one of the char­ac­ters on this list is a woman (quick non-jokey aside – we love you Nintendo, do better!!). Peach’s Cas­tle, which is, if you ask me, re­ally a char­ac­ter in and of it­self, should fi­nally be recog­nised as such within the world of Smash Bros, so that we can stroke our chins and re­spond to our friends’ in­credulity by say­ing “well, re­ally, what makes Peach’s Cas­tle any less of a char­ac­ter than Mario?” There should also be a stage inside the cas­tle, and if you choose to play as Peach’s Cas­tle on this stage the game could en­cour­age you to write a think piece about it.

Pro­posed at­tacks

Un­leash­ing a bunch of Boos, warp­ing it­self around via paint­ings, bam­boo­zling its op­po­nents by point­ing out that de­scrib­ing a lo­ca­tion as be­ing a char­ac­ter in and of it­self is trite and re­dun­dant in most cases.

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