Life & Style Weekend - - OUR SAY -


Why are small things be­com­ing so pop­u­lar again? Shrinkies, Coles mini shop­pers and now biki­nis. OK, I have to be re­ally care­ful here be­cause I’d love to say that this new in­tro­duc­tion of the Euro­pean-style bikini is a good thing and a celebratio­n of the fe­male form, but I just can’t. I guess as a dad of two young girls, I get shocked out of that thought process be­cause I have a stab­bing flash for­ward to my girls wear­ing these out­fits to the beach. I think ev­ery­one should be com­fort­able, es­pe­cially at the beach. But if I can see a part of your body that is used for mummy and daddy time on a pub­lic beach, I feel like that is go­ing too far. There’s a story in my fam­ily that we went to a beach where a lovely young woman who was sun­bak­ing with the bot­tom half of her bikini on. The top half had van­ished like a fart in the wind. She was fully ex­posed and my brother who was in the breast­feed­ing stage at the time ran up to her and... well, you can prob­a­bly see what hap­pened next. He just saw her as a milk bar. Now the lady was very for­giv­ing, but I guess if she was cov­ered up, it may not have hap­pened and some em­bar­rass­ment could have been avoided. I re­alise that story is of the ex­treme na­ture of the shrink­ing bikini, but I think there’s some­thing in it: that maybe pub­lic beaches aren’t the place to be ex­pos­ing more of your body than needs be. Now I know my wife and mother-in-law aren’t read­ing this any­more, so ... I love them, ladies. They look great on you.


As sum­mer fast approaches, there are a num­ber of things we need to con­sider, like how many new gelato shops will open in Mooloolaba and what will the new SPF rat­ing be on our sun­screen. I’m look­ing for­ward to the 1500+ range just to con­fuse us all over again. But the biggy, the grand poobah of puz­zling won­der­ment we are all ea­gerly an­tic­i­pat­ing is: just how small will this sea­son’s biki­nis be? Last sea­son saw the amaz­ing dis­ap­pear­ing act of Ly­cra as more and more Brazil­ian bums, but­ter­fly cheeks, won­der wed­gies and crack-fill­ing fan­cies adorned our beaches. There was so much cheek on show it was like a mango con­ven­tion. Al­ready this year we have seen the ad­di­tion of the “floss” bikini: spaghetti straps with ul­tra-thin fab­ric sec­tions front and back and pulled so high they al­most need ty­ing un­der the armpits. Now while many peo­ple are tut-tut­ting at this risqué dis­play of flesh, mock­ing it as shame­less ex­hi­bi­tion­ism, let me be the first to jump to the de­fence of the shrink­ing kini…. Mod­ern women are merely re­flect­ing the im­pact global warm­ing is hav­ing on fash­ion. Each year, as the po­lar ice caps melt, wa­ter lev­els rise and tem­per­a­tures in­crease, re­quir­ing less cloth­ing that can over­heat one’s toosh. Toosh temp is a vi­tal part of one’s health that is far too of­ten over­looked, like the benefits of mag­ne­sium and kom­bucha. One’s toosh temp needs to be re­spected and main­tained. Not much is known sci­en­tif­i­cally about the ad­verse ef­fects of a height­ened toosh temp, so as a com­mu­nity ser­vice cru­sader, I am vol­un­teer­ing my ser­vices to a study.


Get your in­flat­able flamingo pool ready be­cause sum­mer­time is just around the cor­ner and as each sum­mer comes around, the biki­nis seem to get smaller. So, it might be time to have a chat about whether biki­nis these days are a bit too small. As a swim­mer for 15 years, I ap­pre­ci­ate peo­ple en­joy­ing them­selves in their togs and how comfy they are. But personally, I think they are be­com­ing a lit­tle too small and again, it’s time to thank In­sta­gram. You can prac­ti­cally wear a G-string to the beach and it’s so­cially ac­cept­able on­line. The front of biki­nis are the size of an eye-patch and I’m just not sure. If you were a par­ent, would you be proud of see­ing your daugh­ter get around in one? I could be wrong! I’m all for peo­ple be­ing com­fort­able in their own skin but at what price? Is it an at­ten­tion-seek­ing thing? I know that sounds harsh and I love wear­ing biki­nis but I think there’s a line. You can still come across as a con­fi­dent woman with­out hav­ing to bare all. Many peo­ple are turn­ing their at­ten­tion to the gym to get fit and ready for sum­mer, which is fan­tas­tic and it’s al­ways nice to have that goal. But, it’s also nice to feel fit be­cause it pro­vides you with a bet­ter qual­ity of life, not be­cause you look bet­ter in your In­sta­gram pic. I un­der­stand that it’s a free world and peo­ple have the right to wear what they want. It just makes me sad to think that there are peo­ple do­ing it be­cause they have low self-es­teem is­sues and they feel like wear­ing next to noth­ing is go­ing to make them feel bet­ter. Wear your biki­nis proudly but let’s just leave a bit more to the imag­i­na­tion.

TUNE IN FOR DAVE, SAM AND ASH ON HOT 91.1 ON WEEK­DAYS FOR BREAK­FAST FROM 5.30AM. ..............................................................................................................................................................................

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