THIN-SKINNED

DREAD­ING A SPOT OF BOTHER AF­TER CHILD­HOOD SUM­MERS SPENT CARE­LESSLY ROAST­ING UN­DER UV RAYS

Life & Style Weekend - - STUFF - ON A LIGHTER NOTE WORDS: GREG BRAY

Folks, I should have been much hap­pier. It’s not ev­ery day I get to lie on a bed in my undies while two ladies give me their un­di­vided attention. Yep, it was time for my an­nual skin check and, ac­cord­ing to Long Suf­fer­ing Wife, it had been more than 10 years since my last one. Now, like a lot of Aussie kids of my gen­er­a­tion, I spent far too many sum­mers wear­ing lit­tle else but a pair of shorts and a dab of sun­screen on my nose. While I can guar­an­tee my schnozz and back­side are com­pletely melanoma-free, I’m not so con­fi­dent about ev­ery­where else. Keep in mind my gen­er­a­tion did every­thing we could to kill our­selves by over­dos­ing on sun­light. When we went to the beach, we’d slather co­conut oil all over our­selves then baste for ages on the sand. Hon­estly, we might as well have been skew­ered on a ro­tis­serie. Any­way, be­cause it’s been so long be­tween check-ups I was brac­ing my­self for some bad news. So, ev­ery time the nurse stopped, poked at a sus­pi­cious spot and made the sound I’d been dread­ing, “Mmm?”, my heart would skip a beat. When­ever this hap­pened, the doc would lean over, peer through her magnifying glass at the dodgy dot then shake her head and I’d start breath­ing again. I don’t think I’ve ever been so thor­oughly in­spected. They checked un­der my feet, be­tween toes and fin­gers and even braved the dense jun­gles of hair on my head and back. They were painstak­ingly metic­u­lous … or had OCD. Pos­si­bly a lit­tle of both. Even­tu­ally they stamped “clean skin” on my fore­head and, as I got dressed, the doc­tor ex­plained there was a cru­cial rea­son, usu­ally grave, for each el­e­ment of the skin check. With this in mind, I booked next year’s ap­point­ment be­fore leav­ing the surgery. Sooner or later my per­sonal UV ray bill will ar­rive in the mail, so in the mean­time, I might as well en­joy some up-close, per­sonal attention from two fussy ladies.

Find Greg Bray at greg­bray­writer.wordpress.com or Face­book: Greg Bray – Writer

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