RE­LA­TION­SHIPS AND TEAM SPORT

THE BEN­E­FITS OF GET­TING IN TO FIT­NESS AND DE­VEL­OP­ING SO­CIAL SKILLS

Life & Style Weekend - - RELATIONSH­IPS - WORDS: JOANNE WIL­SON Joanne Wil­son is a neuro psychother­apist, re­la­tion­ship spe­cial­ist, ra­dio co-host, work­shop fa­cil­i­ta­tor and guest speaker. Con­tact www.the­con­fi­dan­te­coun­selling.com

How much does a sport like net­ball and be­ing a part of any team sport en­hance your re­la­tion­ship skills?

Plenty.

At the time, I didn’t re­alise how much play­ing team sport as a child has con­trib­uted to strength­en­ing my so­cial skills to build healthy re­la­tion­ships.

Aside from de­vel­op­ing co-or­di­na­tion (not sure if I ever mas­tered this one), and ben­e­fit­ing from fit­ness, here’s what I learnt to do:

- Re­flect on my per­for­mance when I con­trib­uted to los­ing.

- Deal with “ball hogs”, bul­lies, wit­ness on field tantrums and hear swear­ing from oth­ers when they didn’t win. - Lis­ten and re­spect my el­ders such as the coach, ref­eree and sports of­fi­cials (even when we didn’t agree). - En­joy ca­ma­raderie to build each other up “when the chips are down”.

- Positively bond with other fe­males as they’re par­tic­u­larly im­por­tant to women.

- Talk out prob­lems with my team mates either about the game or oth­er­wise.

- Build tenac­ity and re­silience to grind through gru­elling train­ing ses­sions.

- Not rely on a screen for en­ter­tain­ment. - En­joy con­fi­dence when we achieved as a team.

- Play by the rules, learn con­se­quences and per­sonal bound­aries.

- Ex­pe­ri­ence the joy of shar­ing the ad­ven­ture of vis­it­ing new places with oth­ers.

- No­tice a con­sis­tent cor­re­la­tion in aca­demic suc­cess when I ap­plied the same prin­ci­ples of hard work and ded­i­ca­tion.

- Ap­pre­ci­ate “mus­cle mem­ory” when I’ve con­tin­ued to ex­er­cise as an adult.

- Take ad­van­tage of be­ing in­spired by healthy and fit life­style men­tors.

How does this trans­late to adult re­la­tion­ships? I now have:

- A greater abil­ity to work, live and tol­er­ate peo­ple with dif­fer­ent val­ues, back­grounds and idio­syn­cra­sies.

- In­sight my harsh words can­not be re­wound and the need to own my poor self­ish be­hav­iour

- An un­der­stand­ing that what mo­ti­vates me, may not in­spire some­one else.

- The joy of seek­ing to pro­vide care and love in a way that is dif­fer­ent to mine.

- A greater chance of suc­cess­fully pla­cat­ing some­one else fac­ing loss, dis­ap­pointed or dis­tressed.

- No prob­lem seek­ing wis­dom from men­tors who con­sis­tently en­joy a great mar­riage or re­la­tion­ships.

- The ben­e­fit of ful­fil­ment of self-sac­ri­fice to sup­port some­one else.

- The knowl­edge that ex­er­cise is the best stress, de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety med­i­ca­tion that con­trib­utes to be­ing the best wife, mother and coun­sel­lor I can be.

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