DRIVING HOME THE LAUGHS
THE ROBINSON BANK BALANCE HAS TAKEN A HIT BUT AT LEAST WE CAN SEE THE HUMOUR IN OUR CAR TROUBLES
Things don’t happen in threes in my family. No, in the Robinsons’ world, they have at least five cracks at bad things happening.
During the peak holiday season, the week between Christmas and New Year, I had just arrived home from work one stinking-hot afternoon and got a call from my young bloke to tell me that his car had broken down on top of Alex hill where he and his family were having a picnic.
Every park was taken and he had parked on the grass.
Now the car was dead as a doornail.
My job was to pick up the family and take them home while he waited for the RACQ, and I secretly hoped a council parking officer would turn up and test out old mate’s patience.
A few weeks later, my wife’s car mysteriously got a dent in the back door with an unnamed driver at the wheel.
I was told that someone must have run into it while it was parked in the public car park.
I took it to my mate at Woodriff Smash Repairs, who pointed out quickly that there was only two ways the dent could have happened: either a bollard was driving by and pressed itself against the door or more than likely the unnamed driver sideswiped a bollard.
Did I mention while I took old mate’s car to the panel shop she had my car which she backed into a post?
Apparently, she was waiting for the beeper to go off as she reversed but, sadly, the car is not fitted with a beeper.
It does have a reversing camera, so she could actually watch herself back into the pole. This was all in 24 hours.
Then a short time later, my daughter-inlaw is in her garage with the tailgate up on her wagon when her tiny little angelic daughter pushes the remote for the roller door and it closes on said tailgate.
Not a bad effort: currently three cars wounded — not mortally, but all carrying an injury.
Strangely, none of this upset me or any member of the family (which actually means myself or my son as the females in the family aren’t exactly car-conscious and whatever problems happen with vehicles, no matter who has caused them, comes down to a boy’s problem to get them fixed).
A couple of weeks later, I got a call from the young bloke who said, “That’s it. We are now batting 100 per cent: four from four.” “Please explain,” I laughed.
He told me that his car had just been sideswiped in front of his house by an Lplater.
Now the past seven months that we have had has turned out to be a good leveller because normally four dents in four cars would be a drama.
But, in fact, it has probably been a nearly humorous distraction.
It probably won’t be quite as funny when I pay the bills but it is amazing the difference in my reaction — and my young bloke, for that matter — because it doesn’t really matter as long as everyone is healthy and no one got hurt … only my dwindling bank balance.
As they say, money can’t buy happiness, but if you have enough left to buy beer, it’s the next best thing.
* This is vintage Ashley Robinson from a column earlier this year.
‘ … EITHER A BOLLARD WAS DRIVING BY AND PRESSED ITSELF AGAINST THE DOOR OR MORE THAN LIKELY THE UNNAMED DRIVER SIDESWIPED A BOLLARD.’