I bumped into myself
I bumped into myself Words and photo by Katie Little Sooner or later, all of us will have to account for ourselves, and ourselves alone. We won’t be able to medicate or buy our way out, become workaholics or alcoholics – that itch that we just haven’t qu
Sooner or later, all of us will have to account for ourselves, and ourselves alone. We won’t be able to medicate or buy our way out, become workaholics or alcoholics – that itch that we just haven’t quite been able to scratch is not going to go away. This piece is a reminder to all of us that the best things, the simplest things, in life are free.
I BUMPED INTO myself just the other day. I said, “Hey! Remember me? Let’s hook up, let’s play! Let’s get down and dirty, like we did before we grew up, turned thirty… Remember? “
You looked at me blank-faced, “Don’t you recognise me?”, I said. “We used to be mates…?”
Have you got so busy that you can’t return my call? Have you moved up in the world, forgotten you knew me at all? We used to just sit in the garden together, dig in the sandpit, look for snails or a feather… Breathe in the stillness, enjoy the passing of time, notice the details, the hidden sublime.
“I’m still here waiting”, I said. “I won’t hold a grudge. You can tell me everything. I promise, I won’t gossip or judge.”
Let’s pick up where we left off, our big plans and grand ideas. No limits or expectations, no hesitation, no fears. When we lived in the moment, without thought or care. Hey! Remember teenage abandon! When life was a dare? When you raged at the ocean and played in the moonlight, built campfires and castles and fought the good fight.
I hate to insult you, but you’re not getting younger! Surely you can’t have forgotten the things that piqued your hunger? Would you take me seriously if I dressed up in black, carried a sceptre and jumped on your back? Relax!! That’s a joke. I don’t mean to get heavy, but whatever – I’ll take it, get passionate, get angry. Don’t lie down and take it, you need to fight for a bit. Sometimes you have to punch harder or you’ll get smacked up and hit. You might turn your head but I’ll always be here, hidden away in your mind with the things that you fear… I see all the things that you do, with compassion. I love you whether you’re in or out of fashion. I’m the you that was here before you were born, the ‘consciousness collective’ who turned up at dawn. Let’s get back to the moment when we had nothing to do. Back when I was just me and you – just you. n
Katie Little can sum up her childhood in two words: not average, not least because her mother is Australian icon Jeanne Little. She is working on a memoir and writes about parenthood, relationships and staying sane in an insane world.