The pur­suit for soul con­nec­tion – it all starts with you

Living Now - - Advertising Feature - By Robert Kirby

DOES THE GRASS re­ally look greener or sex­ier on the other side? Are you try­ing to push your part­ner to change (and turn­ing a heart­less, pas­sive-ag­gres­sive crea­ture in the process)? Do you want to find some­one amaz­ing but feel that there’s no place to meet them?

Well for­get it: your part­ner will never ever change, and there is no mag­i­cal place where per­fect peo­ple con­gre­gate. Trick­ing your­self into be­liev­ing that you can do some­thing or go some­where to change your cir­cum­stances is like pluck­ing pie from the sky, and will only make you feel more pow­er­less than you al­ready do.

Time to get real

Per­haps it’s time for a wake-up call. Maybe it’s time to con­sider another ap­proach to re­la­tion­ships that could po­ten­tially rock your world, your en­tire life and ev­ery­one you meet.

Let me ask you this: What do you think would hap­pen if you sent out a dif­fer­ent mes­sage to the uni­verse? If you turned the mir­ror onto your­self; con­fronting and re­solv­ing your self-love is­sues, and for­giv­ing your­self for all the times you gave your power away?

How would your heart feel if you gen­tly ac­cepted your­self, in spite of all the times you closed your heart to love be­cause of your trust is­sues? Or the times you opened up to the sex­ual ten­sion but never re­ally let the other per­son in? Or the shame you felt when you cut your part­ner down and made them feel small, but only be­cause you were the one who was scared of be­ing vul­ner­a­ble?

Most peo­ple in to­day’s world are look­ing out­side them­selves for love. They truly be­lieve that it takes some­one else to ful­fill their needs for love and sup­port. But the prob­lem is that any­thing that you try to change out­side your­self will only make things worse. It all comes down to this: you will find your­self in a world of pain if you con­tinue try­ing to search for your soul mate when you’re not con­gru­ent within your­self. The world of sin­gle peo­ple – in­clud­ing those look­ing on in­ter­net dat­ing sites or Face­book can only align with peo­ple who have a sim­i­lar vi­bra­tion to them­selves. You’ve heard the old say­ing: ‘Birds of a feather flock to­gether’? Well, it’s true. If your heart is bro­ken or shut down, that is ex­actly what you’re go­ing to at­tract.

It makes no dif­fer­ence if you’ve been mar­ried for 25 years or been dat­ing some­one for 25 days. Open­ing to love and all au­then­tic change re­quires you to look within and con­front what­ever is not in truth.

Your in­ner work

Your will­ing­ness to love open-heart­edly when life gives you rea­sons not to love, is the most coura­geous stance you can take in life.

In­ner work is all about claim­ing the heart of your re­la­tion­ship with your­self. Since the mind and body are in­ex­tri­ca­bly con­nected, it is the in­te­gra­tion of your mind-body and psy­chos­pir­i­tual self that will open your soul. Your heart and soul will kiss and you’ll feel so pas­sion­ately con­gru­ent in life, that you’ll be able to give your light to those you love and re­ceive from them, the love you de­serve.

Open­ing the door­way to your heart

Sooner or later, all part­ners will give you rea­sons not to love. None of us shares the same re­al­ity. Mis­un­der­stand­ings pile up, and when re­sent­ment builds over time, we shrink back into our­selves and close our hearts. We feel hurt and re­jected, sex be­comes pas­sion­less and we with­draw phys­i­cally, emo­tion­ally and spir­i­tu­ally.

For many peo­ple, they must hit rock bot­tom be­fore they con­sider this jour­ney of in­ner work. It’s too scary for them to feel that deeply. How­ever, if you’re read­ing this, you must be ready and will­ing to take ac­tion. You want the free­dom to ei­ther at­tract a healthy, emo­tion­ally avail­able part­ner, or reignite the open-hearted pas­sion­ate fire you once had with your cur­rent part­ner.

The work you need to do is the deep­est and most ef­fec­tive in a safe group. The energy of the group with an ex­pe­ri­enced fa­cil­i­ta­tor will sup­port and guide you into the depths of your pain and back out again, so that you can em­brace and feel the joy of pas­sion­ate love – first with your­self, and then with your cur­rent part­ner or some­one new!

Robert Kirby is a lead­ing re­la­tion­ships fa­cil­i­ta­tor and body-psy­chother­a­pist, with 26 years’ ex­pe­ri­ence. His ‘Heart­felt Re­la­tion­ships’ work­shops are over­whelm­ingly pop­u­lar, and have run over the past 18 years in the US, Aus­tralia and the UK. In the last 26 years, Robert has worked with in­di­vid­u­als and groups around the world. His clients have gone on to achieve ex­tra­or­di­nary suc­cess.

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