The pursuit for soul connection – it all starts with you
DOES THE GRASS really look greener or sexier on the other side? Are you trying to push your partner to change (and turning a heartless, passive-aggressive creature in the process)? Do you want to find someone amazing but feel that there’s no place to meet them?
Well forget it: your partner will never ever change, and there is no magical place where perfect people congregate. Tricking yourself into believing that you can do something or go somewhere to change your circumstances is like plucking pie from the sky, and will only make you feel more powerless than you already do.
Time to get real
Perhaps it’s time for a wake-up call. Maybe it’s time to consider another approach to relationships that could potentially rock your world, your entire life and everyone you meet.
Let me ask you this: What do you think would happen if you sent out a different message to the universe? If you turned the mirror onto yourself; confronting and resolving your self-love issues, and forgiving yourself for all the times you gave your power away?
How would your heart feel if you gently accepted yourself, in spite of all the times you closed your heart to love because of your trust issues? Or the times you opened up to the sexual tension but never really let the other person in? Or the shame you felt when you cut your partner down and made them feel small, but only because you were the one who was scared of being vulnerable?
Most people in today’s world are looking outside themselves for love. They truly believe that it takes someone else to fulfill their needs for love and support. But the problem is that anything that you try to change outside yourself will only make things worse. It all comes down to this: you will find yourself in a world of pain if you continue trying to search for your soul mate when you’re not congruent within yourself. The world of single people – including those looking on internet dating sites or Facebook can only align with people who have a similar vibration to themselves. You’ve heard the old saying: ‘Birds of a feather flock together’? Well, it’s true. If your heart is broken or shut down, that is exactly what you’re going to attract.
It makes no difference if you’ve been married for 25 years or been dating someone for 25 days. Opening to love and all authentic change requires you to look within and confront whatever is not in truth.
Your inner work
Your willingness to love open-heartedly when life gives you reasons not to love, is the most courageous stance you can take in life.
Inner work is all about claiming the heart of your relationship with yourself. Since the mind and body are inextricably connected, it is the integration of your mind-body and psychospiritual self that will open your soul. Your heart and soul will kiss and you’ll feel so passionately congruent in life, that you’ll be able to give your light to those you love and receive from them, the love you deserve.
Opening the doorway to your heart
Sooner or later, all partners will give you reasons not to love. None of us shares the same reality. Misunderstandings pile up, and when resentment builds over time, we shrink back into ourselves and close our hearts. We feel hurt and rejected, sex becomes passionless and we withdraw physically, emotionally and spiritually.
For many people, they must hit rock bottom before they consider this journey of inner work. It’s too scary for them to feel that deeply. However, if you’re reading this, you must be ready and willing to take action. You want the freedom to either attract a healthy, emotionally available partner, or reignite the open-hearted passionate fire you once had with your current partner.
The work you need to do is the deepest and most effective in a safe group. The energy of the group with an experienced facilitator will support and guide you into the depths of your pain and back out again, so that you can embrace and feel the joy of passionate love – first with yourself, and then with your current partner or someone new!
Robert Kirby is a leading relationships facilitator and body-psychotherapist, with 26 years’ experience. His ‘Heartfelt Relationships’ workshops are overwhelmingly popular, and have run over the past 18 years in the US, Australia and the UK. In the last 26 years, Robert has worked with individuals and groups around the world. His clients have gone on to achieve extraordinary success.