IN THE KNOW
If it’s a good thing to learn from our mistakes, we as quilters will only improve if we share our failures with each other, says Kim Smith Soper
Learn how to fail? Maybe it’s a good thing to learn from our mistakes – we as quilters can only improve if we share our failures with each other
I’m thinking about starting a new IG
account called @QuiltingFails. The feed would be filled with quilters across the world sharing quilting mistakes (poor colour choice, imperfect points, backward piecing…) and the captions could be the lessons that quilters learned from making those mistakes.
“There are no mistakes, only lessons learned” – Robin Sharma
Here’s what I like about the idea: Firstly, sharing mistakes would be a refreshing change of pace from the perfection that we see in our feeds. We are all human and we all make mistakes, so why not celebrate them! The bigger the fail, the greater the number of likes! Secondly, it’s likely that there will be disagreement on what qualifies as a ‘fail’. Some might love an exact colour combination that the maker considers a mistake. Thirdly, often that perfection we see is the result of lessons learned, too. We don’t like to make mistakes. And we definitely don’t like to publicise our failures. Let’s fix that!
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently” – Henry Ford
What’s the big deal about failure anyway? Who gets to determine if something is a failure or not? The answer: you! You do!
Failure is not meeting your own expectations. So a failure for me, might not be a failure to you. Faced with the same situation, you might not expect things to go the way that I would. And if we think differently, we can choose to see failure differently.
Here’s an example: you set a goal to make your next quilt with linen fabric. As you sew, you realise linen has a different feel to the quilting cottons that you’re used to working with. It’s not as stiff. Your points aren’t matching up perfectly and your seams aren’t all ºin. The finished quilt has an organic vibe rather than your usual crisp aesthetic.
At this moment, you can choose to see this experience as a failure because your quilt did not turn out the way that you had expected it to. OR, choose to see this creative experimentation as a learning process. You’ve now learned
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how to work with a new fabric. You’ve also learned you don’t particularly like the ‘organic’ look. You’ve also learned how you can be more intentional with your fabric purchases – and no longer buy linen! And if you choose to continue working with linen, you’ve learned how you can do it better the next time.
There are far more benefits to taking the risk and ‘failing’ than there are to avoiding trying something new at all. It’s all about how we frame the experience to ourselves and how much grace we show ourselves when things
don’t work out as planned.
“Give yourself permission to be human” – Joyce Brothers
The best way to encourage yourself to take creative risks – which could potentially lead to failure – is to promise yourself that you will be kind to yourself regardless of the outcome. Promise yourself ahead of time that you will show yourself the same kindness that you would show to a friend who struggled with a creative endeavour. By promising to be kind to yourself, you don’t have to worry about how you will judge yourself if your expectations aren’t met.
When you minimise risk, you minimise reward
The feeling of pride from achieving something new – or surpassing our expectations – is far greater than that feeling of safety from staying in our comfort zone. If we play it safe because we let fear determine our creative process, we’ll never grow. Yes, we avoid discomfort, but we also remain stuck.
So, let’s flip the script on failing. No longer will it be about us making a ‘mistake’. Instead, it’s a badge of courage that we will wear proudly. There is opportunity and purpose in each creative chance that we take. Now, let’s go out and fail… I know I will!