The COTTAGECORE STARTER KIT

economics class where I accidently sewed both ends of my pillowcase together and failed the assessment. I gave up on my sweater in a blaze of swear words and posted a plea for help on TikTok. Someone commented “fyp.” Feel your pain.

With my balls of wool discarded in the corner, I ended my week by taking a “What Per Cent Cottagecore Are You?” Buzzfeed quiz. Somehow, despite being a failed knitter, I scored a perfect 100 per cent. “You are meant for cottagecore and cottagecore is meant for you. You most definitely have an interest in gardens, sheep, picnics, or flowers. You’ve probably dreamed of living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere,” the quiz confirmed. Look out, Taylor, there’s a new Cottagecore Queen in town (sans a knitted sweater).

Reflecting on the cottagecore week that was, my lasting memory is of walking through the paddocks at Springfield Farm from my cabin to the fire pit at dusk. The cool Southern Highlands wind kissed my cheeks as I inhaled the fresh country air and took in the burnt orange sunset on the horizon. The cows watched me as I walked along their fence line. “Lucky bastards,” I thought, shaking my head with envy at their picturesque home and carefree lives.

Later, I kicked myself for leaving my phone in my cabin and missing out on a ripper sunset shot for my six TikTok followers. I couldn’t help but wonder (in my Carrie Bradshaw voiced monologue), if a cottagecore moment happens in the woods and no-one posts about it on TikTok, did it really happen at all?

Get among the TikTok trend – in four easy steps

THE LOOK It’s all about the puff sleeves, prairie dresses and paisley prints. Nail the cottagecore aesthetic with pieces from Alice McCall’s new collection (which is actually called Folklore), vintage smocks and handmade sweaters. THE BANGS Fringe-expert Barney Martin says natural, raw and untamed hair is all the rage this year, thanks in part to Tay-Tay’s new look (and forgetting how to use our hair straighteners in lockdown). Feel free to take this story to your hairdresser for #inspo. THE COTTAGE Escape to the country for Springfield Farm’s next Homegrown retreat on November 20-22 to live the cottagecore dream in a cabin surrounded by farmland and two alpacas called Muffin and Coriole. THE ACTIVITIES Challenge yourself and your fine-motor skills with a knitting/ crochet/petit point/hand-dyeing kit from We Are Knitters. Then reward yourself with a slice of homemade banana bread and organic butter.

FROM FAR LEFT Alley Pascoe embraces cottagecore – à la Taylor Swift and her fringe – at Springfield Farm’s permaculture retreat. Quail cuddles included.