Quick quip

McIvor Times - - RABBIT STEW - Which raked world­wide. in $345.1 mil­lion Trivia: Agnes M. Pahro. Mys­tery Movie: Way.

If you ever need noth­ing, I’m here for you.

Did you know?

The high­est-gross­ing fes­tive movie to date is the 2000 fan­tasy How the Grinch Stole Christ­mas, now lower than they have been for some time … I beg to thank all my cus­tomers for their past pa­tron­age and to in­form them that they will re­ceive in the fu­ture just as gen­er­ous treat­ment as they have in the past and will be given credit as hereto­fore, my pol­icy of giv­ing credit be­ing in no way al­tered. - A. J. Crossle, Pro­pri­etor Coster­field Store.

Wednes­day last was a red-let­ter day at Toob­o­rac, when Toob­o­rac's only re­main­ing An­zac re­turned, those who en­listed with him early, hav­ing made the supreme sac­ri­fice. Pte. W. Hill has seen over four years ser­vice. The rail­way sta­tion was nicely dec­o­rated with flags, ev­er­greens, and the motto, "wel­come home," nicely worked by the ladies' nim­ble fin­gers. When the train drew up, as the young sol­dier alighted, he was re­ceived with cheers and the school chil­dren sang "Home Sweet Home" and "Aus­tralia."

Have a laugh

I fig­ured that at age seven it was in­evitable for my son to be­gin hav­ing doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, ‘‘Mum, I know some­thing about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.’’ Tak­ing a deep breath, I asked him, ‘‘What is that?’’ He replied, ‘‘They’re all noc­tur­nal.’’

Frac­tured car­ols — when kids get the lyrics wrong:

“We three kings of por­ridge and tar.”

“On the first day of Christ­mas my tulip gave to me.”

“Later on, we’ll per­spire, as we dream by the fire.”

“He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.”

“Noel, noel, noel, noel; Bar­ney’s the king of Israel.” “Olive, the other rein­deer.” “Sleep in heav­enly peas.” “You’ll go down in Lis­ter­ine.” “Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay.” “Come, froggy faith­ful.” “Good tid­ings we bring to you and your kid.”

Quote of the week

“What is Christ­mas? It is ten­der­ness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the fu­ture.” —

An­swers

Brain­teaser: 17, 17, 16, 16. 1. a. Christ­mas; 2. a. Wine; 3. c. Life; 4. d. Ladies danc­ing; 5. a. UNICEF. Jin­gle All the Six ar­rows 17, 17,

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