THE TROLL TEST
Worried about your online output? Take this test to determine if you’re a digital psychopath
1 How much do you like to know about a subject before stating an opinion? A) Literal, actual lived
experience B) I have a doctorate in 30-second Wikipedia scanning C) LOL 2 “I have no filter” is: A) An excuse arseholes use to blithely shamble through life, offending people B) A good reason not to use social media while drunk C) Your Twitter bio, LOL 3 Have you ever @tagged a celebrity? A) What? Why? No B) Maybe once when I was complimenting their new album/film/novel C) How else will I get @ Therealdonaldtrump to see my sweet meme about Melania’s tits? 4 Facebook’s policy on temporarily blocking accounts for ‘hate speech’ is: A) A transparent PR exercise after all that Russian bot controversy B) A good start but too
unfocused to be effective C) Ruining your fucking life 5 The last disagreement you had online was: A) About a minor point of
grammar. (You conceded.) B) Infuriating. You still think about it, like, a month later C) All-caps shouting JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS at an engineer ANSWERS: Mostly As: You’re all clear. Social media gaffes will never cost you a promotion because your online persona is perfectly sensible. If a little dull. Mostly Bs: Eh, you’re okay. You express yourself online, but you at least try to be conscious of manners. Mostly Cs: You’re the worst. Your natural home is a subterranean lair beneath the sprawling Nordic wilderness of Trøndelag; that noise you hear is billy goats trip-trapping across the roof. Log off, now – for everyone’s sake.