A DOUBLE DOSE OF
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Twin sisters Zoe and Hannah Yates have always had a close bond. As babies, they looked so alike that most people couldn’t tell them apart and, later, they spent their formative years attending St Mary’s College in Hobart, where the siblings were well known for their strong sisterly relationship. But, despite their close connection, Zoe and Hannah, now 35, could never have imagined the shared grief they would endure, when Zoe’s son Lewis was stillborn in March 2022.
Hannah, a midwife, was present for Lewis’s birth and together the sisters have supported each other as Zoe has navigated the grief of losing her beloved son, while Hannah has mourned the loss of her nephew.
Zoe, already a mum to daughter Ada, then 3,
LINDA SMITH NIKKI DAVIS-JONES says it was a “dark time” as she and her husband, Michael Stedman, were faced with meeting and farewelling their precious son on the same day, when Lewis Patrick Stedman was born sleeping at 20 weeks gestation at 2.52pm on March 17, 2022.
“Unfortunately he had a severe medical condition that wasn’t compatible with life,’’ Zoe explains.
“He looked so perfect, it made no sense … his little heart didn’t work the way it was meant to.
“It was obviously really hard. We were living what is your worst nightmare, and something no one imagines they will ever have to go through.’’
Despite the heartache, Zoe and Hannah channelled their grief into starting a small business together, which they named in honour of Lewis, and the venture has also enabled them to support other bereaved families.
“For ages, Zoe and I have really enjoyed –
When Zoe had Lewis we wanted to set up a business and we wanted to recognise him in some way
when family or friends are having a baby – putting together a little gift box with lots of little things that are really beneficial for a new baby,’’ Hannah explains.
However, they found suitable items were often difficult to source locally or had to be sourced from several retailers rather than being easily accessible in one place.
So, when Hannah moved back to Hobart after some time living and working on Queensland’s Gold Coast, they decided to combine Hannah’s marketing experience and Zoe’s parenting experience to create a business offering thoughtfully-curated gift packs for babies, parents and loved ones.
And they named the business Lewis Lion, in honour of little Lewis.
“When Zoe had Lewis we wanted to set up a business and we wanted to recognise him in some way,’’ Hannah explains.
Adds Zoe: “I remember Hannah saying ‘What should we name it?’… and ‘How would you feel about using Lewis’s name?’ And I thought that would be a really nice way to honour him and remember him.’’
Lewis Lion creates gift boxes that recognise all aspects of the pregnancy journey – from offering comfort to new mothers, sharing the delight of new bundles of joy, and offering heartfelt support to bereaved parents.
The Lewis Lion range includes a Stars in the Sky gift pack, supporting parents who have suffered baby loss, with a portion of the proceeds donated to Sands, a baby and infant loss support organisation.
“We came up with a special box tailored to the baby loss space,’’ says Zoe, who is presently on maternity leave from her work as a lawyer.
“It was something I didn’t have a lot of awareness of before, but I’ve since realised there’s such a big community out there. I think people really don’t know what to give a family when they’ve lost a baby.’’
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare figures show that each year in Australia about 3000 babies die in the perinatal period, which spans from 20 weeks gestation to 28 days after birth. About three quarters of these babies are stillborn, while the remainder are neonatal deaths. Which means that on an average day in Australia six babies are stillborn and two die within 28 days of being born.
Meanwhile, figures suggest around 285 miscarriages (the loss of a baby under 20 weeks gestation) occur in Australia each day – one every five minutes – affecting over 100,000 couples a year.
And national organisation Sands – which recently merged with support agency Red Nose – is a major player in offering support to parents dealing with loss.
Zoe says until she endured the devastating loss of her son she had little idea of organisations like Sands and the huge number of bereaved parents in Tasmania and beyond that need support.
“I think it’s still an aspect of the pregnancy journey that perhaps isn’t widely spoken about and it’s really difficult to know how to offer enough love and sympathy to a family experiencing loss through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death,’’ Zoe says.
Before starting Lewis Lion she thought about the gifts she received following Lewis’s birth – and also the things she didn’t receive that perhaps would have offered some solace – and used that as a starting point for curating gift boxes for other parents.
“People have a tendency to want to send something, and I certainly received a lot of
It’s really difficult to know how to offer enough love and sympathy to a family experiencing loss through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death
flowers,’’ Zoe recalls.
“I was comforted by people thinking of me, but I probably got to the point where I started to dread the reminder every time flowers arrived that this is my reality now.’’
She says keepsakes to honour lost babies are something for parents to treasure, and the Stars in the Sky pack includes a selection of high quality gifts designed to provide comfort, recognition and support, with inclusions like baby loss affirmation cards by Priyanka Saha (a Tasmanian now based in Victoria, who has endured her own infant loss), postpartum bath salts, tea, a linen scrunchie and a silk eye mask to soothe tired eyes, as well as a $50 donation to Sands.
Other boxes include beautiful baby booties, rattles, bodysuits and swaddles, organic nappy creams, wooden hair brushes and combs, breastfeeding or energising tea, chocolates and gratitude journals, among other gifts.
Zoe says there are plenty of gifts for babies, and custom boxes can also be made for dads – but there’s a focus on pampering mums as they navigate the postpartum period.
“Often we get a bit caught up in giving baby all of the gifts and forget about the mother,’’ Zoe says.
She and Hannah have sourced a range of premium products from across Australia – Hannah chose Mayde tea as it’s from Byron Bay and she used to live nearby, while the black and white Mesmerised baby board books are from Tasmanian designer Katey Love.
Running the business, which launched in July last year, has been a great opportunity for the sisters to spend more time together.
Setting up the business, which Hannah
describes as a “passion project”, was also a welcome distraction for Zoe, who was then pregnant again after losing Lewis.
That pregnancy was without complications – and son Ellis Lewis Stedman was born healthy and happy on July 28 last year – but it was a stressful and uncertain time after the loss of Lewis.
“Every day I’d wake up … and Hannah and I would do some work on Lewis Lion and put some things together,’’ Zoe recalls. “There were quite a few weeks of that – it was a really nice distraction from what was a challenging pregnancy after having had Lewis.’’
Zoe says she went through a “pretty dark time” after losing Lewis and it wasn’t an easy decision to try for another baby.
“You just don’t expect to have to go through a labour and have a baby that you can’t keep,’’ she says. “Afterwards, waking up every morning and not having a baby, but going through the same postpartum experience is really hard.
“I had a lot of support around me from family and friends. And eventually you start to get to the point where you can start waking up and you can get on with the day. You get on with life, but life as you know it will never be the same – it’s something you always carry in your heart and you can really feel in your body at a deep level.
“Anyone who has ever experienced grief knows it’s not something that ever goes away, it’s something that you move through in different ways. It’s something you go through, but the trauma never ceases, you just live the rest of your life in a different capacity.’’
Attempting to bring another child into the world, after already suffering such an enormous loss, required great emotional strength.
“It wasn’t an easy decision by any means (to have another baby after losing Lewis), most of me thought I should be happy with our life as it was, and I really shouldn’t push it. I didn’t want to put my family through anything else,’’ Zoe says.
“We decided we wanted to have another baby and certainly that whole pregnancy was very hard. It took me a really long time to accept that this baby was living. That pregnancy was really different to my (uncomplicated) pregnancy with Ada. It took a long time for me to acknowledge within myself that I would have another baby … I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time. Ultimately I got through it with a lot of different support mechanisms around me and a lot of self care.’’
Zoe says Ellis’s birth was “a bit of a glimmer of hope that we hadn’t had for a little while”. And having Hannah there once again to support both Zoe and Michael as they welcomed Ellis to the world was also very special.
After a career in marketing, Hannah retrained as a midwife and returned to Tasmania to work three years ago.
“I think I just woke up one day and realised I wanted to feel like I was making a difference in society,’’ Hannah says of her career change.
“I always just adored listening to women I worked with and hearing their pregnancy experiences. So, I decided I was going to become a midwife and it was just the best decision ever. I absolutely find such reward and fulfilment in my work, it’s such an honour being a midwife and seeing that journey to parenthood which can be so varied – there’s never a dull day, I always love coming to work.’’
She says, as heartbreaking as it was to lose
IT’S SOMETHING YOU GO THROUGH, BUT THE TRAUMA NEVER CEASES, YOU JUST LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN A DIFFERENT CAPACITY
Lewis, it was “such a privilege” to support Michael and Zoe for the births of both Lewis and Ellis.
Zoe says she’s forever grateful to have had her sister by her side through what has been a heartbreaking and challenging journey.
“To have someone who so deeply understands what Michael and I have been through as a family, to have been there with us when both Lewis and Ellis were born, and to be there for us afterwards … I really couldn’t have done it without her,’’ she says. “It’s certainly a journey no one ever imagines when they fall pregnant, to lose a baby – it certainly opened my eyes up to how common it is.’’
Zoe is sharing her story in the hope it will help others going through a similar loss.
“I guess I chose to be honest about it on my Instagram and with my friends and family and co-workers because it’s part of my life now, and it might explain why I’m not the same person I was before,’’ Zoe says.
“Through this journey it’s very easy to feel alone. I felt really alone for a while, I didn’t know anyone who had been through this. So, I guess you naturally go looking for people to relate to. But people started coming forward to share their experiences, and I realised how many people carry this silently throughout their life.”
Zoe also hopes that sharing her story will help people better understand how to support family and friends who experience the heartbreak of infant loss. Conversations about grief and loss might seem difficult, but they’re important to have. And continuing to check in on those who are grieving, in the months and years ahead rather than for just a few days or weeks after they experience loss, is also important.
“I think maybe the hardest part of my journey was when people ignored it or pretended it didn’t happen because it was too confronting,’’ Zoe says.
“Everyone has a really different approach to grief and how they want to talk about it. But for people who have lost a parent, or a family
member, or a baby, I think the most important thing is acknowledging their grief and acknowledging their loss, rather than ignoring it.’’
Fortunately, she says, people seem to be getting better at talking more openly about miscarriage and stillbirth.
There are numerous organisations and online support groups for parents experiencing loss, and many celebrities have publicly shared their personal stories of loss – including Beyonce, Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lawrence, Chrissy Teigen, Megan Fox, Sharon Stone, Courteney Cox, Britney Spears, Lily Allen, Alanis Morissette, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle – in a bid to raise awareness of an all-too-common issue that has traditionally been shrouded in secrecy.
Hannah, Zoe and Ellis travelled to Launceston last weekend to attend a Beyond the Rainbow brunch at Stillwater Restaurant honouring bereaved mothers and families, as a way to pay tribute to Lewis.
The sisters plan to spend Mother’s Day this Sunday with their own mum, Kate, enjoying waffles for breakfast while also doting on Ada and Ellis.
Zoe says, despite the uncertain path she and Michael had to walk in a bid to welcome Ellis into the world, he has been a great source of healing and happiness.
“He’s such a happy boy,’’ she says of Ellis, whose middle name is Lewis, in honour of the brother he’ll sadly never get to meet.
“He brings a lot of joy to everyone around him, he’s very settled … he just brings a lot of joy to us all.’’
Ada, now 5, also dotes on Ellis.
“I think she really loves having a baby brother,’’ Zoe says.
“She’s always been very loving and doting towards her dolls, she has a natural mothering nature and she treats Ellis like one of her dolls. She loves feeding him solids, and looking after him.’’
And Ada talks about her other brother, Lewis, as well.
“We kind of talk about Lewis being in the stars,’’ Zoe says. “We talk about a particular star – Lewis’s star – and some nights she’ll say, ‘There’s Lewis’s star’ – he’s always with us.’’