Child sex abuse rife in the family

Cathy Kezelman says we have a national response for institutional bastardisation, but what about when it happens in the home?

THE Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse alerted Australia to endemic child sexual abuse in institutions.

As a community we were horrified, as survivor after survivor came forward and courageously spoke of their betrayal and often systematic violation in more than 4000 of our mainstream institutions.

The Tasmanian Commission of Inquiry into child sex abuse in public institutions will hopefully make recommendations to drive real change and protect young people. However, it is restricted to institutional child sex abuse and the reality is most survivors are abused by family, friends and neighbours –and have largely been ignored. This needs to change.

In the last financial year, a majority (55 percent) of the more than 10,000 people supported by the Blue Knot Help line reported that their trauma occurred at home— 46 percent were harmed by parents and 6 percent by siblings. Almost all (96 per cent) of child sexual abuse survivors stated that they knew their perpetrator at the time of the abuse. Of these ,70 percent of perpetrators were immediate family ,11 percent extended family and only 4 percent strangers.

Child sex abuse is a crime. It is common. It is a betrayal of trust and an abuse of power. The perpetrator often tricks the child into believing the abuse is an act of love.

But the child is never to blame. Many perpetrators groom victims, and the child’ s family and community as well, choosing a vulnerable child.

Threats, fear and manipulation are used to silence the child and maintain secrecy. The child, and often the adult they become is left terrified, confused, helpless and powerless.

We often do not see the compounded effects of child abuse until years later, once a survivor has become an adult.

Child sexual abuse can cause long-lasting impacts.

Some victims take their lives, many struggle with safety and self-esteem issues, and most experience deep shame and self-blame. They can become isolated and withdrawn and find it difficult to trust. Many struggle to manage strong emotion and can be readily triggered, reactivating prior trauma.

Others struggle with relationships, including intimacy and are unable to complete their education or consistently hold down a job. Survivors often have poorer mental and physical health than others, including anxiety, depression, eating disorders or other mental health issues.

Survivors use different coping strategies to manage distress such as substance misuse, suicidal thoughts, selfharm, avoidance and over work. Many survival strategies can become less constructive overtime and hurt not only survivors but their families and communities as well.

The good news is, with the right support, people who have been sexually abused can and do recover. As the brain can change through life, we can be optimistic about recovery, honouring courage and holding a sense of hope and optimism. Just as children are abused in relationships of harm, so people can heal in relationships of support. As a community, we must provide supportive platforms for survivors to share their stories.

The Royal Commission showed us the importance for survivors of being listened to, heard, validated and believed. The same applies to survivors sexually abused in the home, family and neighbourhood.

Dr Cathy Kezelman AM is president of the Blue Knot Foundation–National Centre of Excellence for Complex Trauma.

If you or someone you know needs help, call :1800 Respect; Lifeline on 131 114; Sexual Assault Support Service on 1800697877;Relationships Australia1300364277.