It’s time to embrace our inner goblin

Betwixtmas is about being perfectly imperfect, writes Gary Martin

WELCOME to Betwixtmas, variously known as Crimbo Limbo, the Witching Week and the Merrenium. It is the awkward abyss between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day during which no one seems to know what to think about or how to act. You know what the date is but have no idea what day it is.

For those fortunate enough to have a few days off work, the listless period between celebrations is a bit of a waiting game for New Year’s Eve to arrive before life returns to normal.

Until now, there has not been a single word or phrase to capture the essence of our straight run of snooze-worthy, slob-styled days when most of us languish in limbo.

Fortunately, the Oxford English Dictionary has come to the rescue by not only adding the term “goblin mode” to our lexicon but by making it the 2022 word of the year.

The Oxford Dictionary defines goblin mode as “a type of behaviour which is unapologetically selfindulgent, lazy, slovenly or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations”.

Switching to goblin mode for a day or two is a backlash against perfect portrayals of ourselves and a way of stepping back from the stresses of trying to live up to the unrealistic expectations of others.

Betwixtmas will see many of us embrace our inner goblin for a much longer stretch as we try relaxation ahead of what might be a challenging new year to navigate. And there is very little involved. For starters, goblin mode requires the seasonal trio of overindulges of overeating, over

drinking and over-resting to be extended beyond Christmas Day.

The couch must become your new best friend and your movements must be minimal.

You must substitute chocolate, fruit mince pies and beer for actual meals and be constantly scrolling through your social media.

Goblins will leave their bed unmade for a whole week, resist the urge to shower at times, shun alarm clocks, stay in their pyjamas all day and forget to brush their teeth on a regular basis. They really do not care what they look or smell like.

There is also a need to leave unwashed dishes on the sink, say no to anything strenuous and become reclusive to the point that you will not go out with friends unless the dress standard is … dishevelled.

In extreme cases of goblinism, some make weird noises or grunt when others try to talk with them.

This Betwixtmas, bring goblinmode to life. Reject plans to declutter your home, bypass the digital detox and abstain from that much-needed colon cleanse.

Instead, opt for the selfindulgent and carefree frame of mind that goblinism offers.

It is not a permanent identity but a focus on indulging in ourselves for a short period in such a way that our emotional wellbeing gets a lift and we feel recharged enough to better face the challenges of the new year.

All that is really required is for us to practice being perfectly imperfect for a few days – and being our grubbiest, relaxed and laziest selves for a bit – before we burst into the new year full of energy.