LETTER OF THE MONTH
Thank you for the amazing article, ‘Trauma Will Not Define Me’, in the July issue. Sadly, mental and physical violence are both prevalent in society today – which is soul destroying and so unnecessary. Still, hope is always there if we are prepared to take positive action and accept help.
The title of the article really resonated with me. ‘Trauma Will Not Define Me’ – I have to agree with this statement. I have been there, and Manuela’s story brought back memories of my life 19 years ago. I had a marriage break-up with a difficult partner, who was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive.
I believed in an everlasting marriage, and was brought up to do so, but the time came when I could no longer go on in the relationship. It was affecting my health.
When I went through the trauma it was extremely hard and took a real toll on my mental state. I had to reevaluate my life – my marriage was crumbling, but fortunately I had a job. I did take some time off work, however. Physically I was exhausted, and emotionally I experienced all I could take. But with hope and belief; and encouragement from family and professionals, I made it through – along with many visits to doctors and counsellors.
Yes, it was hard and it took many years of determination and setbacks. I then realised that no-one needed to control my life. It was my choice and my destiny. In fact it was my life. I had to have something to hope for, daily – something to look forward to each day even if it was a cup of coffee or a magazine. Human emotion is fragile and it needs to be nurtured. A broken spirit is very sad and needs help to get back on track.
But help is available, so reach out to anyone you can to protect yourself. Do it confidentially if you need to. Set boundaries with legal help and when you are free of the trauma, you will make new plans and gradually ‘build your wings’ and go on as a much stronger person. In fact, you may even be able to help others because of what you have gone through. Marilyn