TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH A BOYFRIEND

Michelle Stanley, 29, radio presenter

Michelle has become focused on her finances in the past couple of years. She’s bought an investment property, found a partner and moved up the career ladder.

Although she says she’s always had financial awareness, she didn’t have a grasp on personal finance. “I thought living within your means was living within your income, not living with what you need,” she says.

But when she started seeing her boyfriend, John, she had to become more serious about money.

“My boyfriend sat me down and said financial security was important for him and he wanted us to be compatible. He was so savvy and I was so embarrassed. He was only one year older but was so much more organised,” she says.

“He was always saving, paying himself first and making sure he had a goal of what he wanted to save and then making the rest of his expenses fit. Instead, I thought I’d spend what I wanted and save what was left over. I thought I had enough money in the bank to fund my lifestyle but wasn’t very future focused.

“We had to have a few days to see if we were compatible. He had so much money in the bank and in shares, and I had debt for a car and I only had a bit in my savings. We had to see how it would work. He’s in a well-paying job, he was building faster than I ever could. So it strained the relationship at first, and it still does. There are still things that come up – like buying a house together – because we won’t have the same input, but he’s a strong believer in earning your keep and share, and not paying for someone else’s decisions.

“When we talked about it, he was in the frame of mind that if I was happy to try and work on my situation, he’d be comfortable with that even though I would never have the same amount of money. I became more mindful in tracking spending and thought more about did I need what I was buying. I changed everything and saved so much money.

“I was no longer the young person travelling and living day to day. I had to start realising I was almost 30 and if I wanted kids I needed a stable life and a home, and that maturity all came at the same time.” Michelle already has an investment property with a mortgage, but priorities in the next few years are travelling and perhaps a home and family.

“He [John] has money to be able to take a year off and travel for a long time and I don’t, but we want to travel together. Longer term I’d say [goals are] buying a house and how we can do that together or not.

Michelle also has a few shares that are managed by her dad. “I’d like to invest more but it’s such a hot market,” she says.

Michelle wants to know more about insurances. “I’m hearing so much about super, shares and ETFs but in my situation, coming up to 30 and thinking of a family, I’d like to know what I need to be insured for and not just dropping money into an insurer’s account where I’d never get anything.”