SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO MAKE OUR OWN LUCK A

A Mem, unfortunately I hear this far too often. Each child should have a copy of their parent’s will, that way there’s no disputing the desires of the deceased. You have some healing to do; try not to get hung up on the money. Cling to the memories of you

QWhy do I have so much bad luck? My partner was having an affair but he denies it, and I ask the universe to catch him out but it doesn’t. This is not the first affair, he has had a few. Why can’t I just move on?

Susan, via email. Susan, sometimes we make our own luck. Is there a part of you that feels like you deserve to be treated badly? Why would you think that your partner would stop having affairs when you always take him back? My sense is that you’re not moving on because you’re afraid of being alone. I would rather be alone than constantly be worrying about my partner cheating. Healthy relationships can’t work without trust. You have to love yourself more: you deserve better than what you’re settling for.

QMy father has recently passed and we miss him very much. Since his death, my mother and brother have lied about my dad’s financial state of affairs. They don’t care about any of our feelings, let alone my poor dead father. I know my dad had enough money to pay for his funeral and my mum and brother are denying it. We are not even privy to his last will and testament.

Mem, via email.

QMy son passed away nine weeks ago. We haven’t found out how. Is he at peace and did he know how much we loved him and miss him?

Carmel, via email. Carmel, my deepest condolences. The loss of a child is a devastation unlike any other. I can assure you that your son does know how much you love and miss him. Children who die tend to want to be around their parents still. So I have no doubt that he sees you daily. If there’s anything that you feel like you didn’t get to say to him, you can tell him now. He can hear you and he sees your pain.

Your family on the other side was there to receive him when he first crossed. He can now spend time with family who preceded him in death, even relatives he never met. He also gets to be with you and the rest of his living loved ones. He has the best of both worlds.

Your son gets to relive the happiest days of his life, his ‘versions’ of heaven. He will move through life with you, until you see him again. If you can’t live for yourself, he would want you to try to live a fulfilling life for him, find joy when you can, and celebrate that you share an unbreakable bond. He’s not just your past, he’s your present and future: you’ll be with him again.