ALLISON DUBOIS
LET GO OF THE PAIN AND GUILT OF LOST LOVED ONES, SAYS ALLISON
Q I would love to know if my dad is with his family and knows how much I miss him. Thank you for taking time to read this. Sheila, via email. A Sheila, when our loved ones die they gravitate to ‘like’ energy which is essentially family and friends.
He’s more than fine, he’s with all of his favourite people that he lost throughout his life. Your dad can feel how much you miss him; he misses being able to talk to you too. Can you imagine the frustration of being dead? You’re standing right next to your loved one and they can’t see or hear you? Your dad is still part of your life, and he can guide you through decision-making as well as comfort you in times of great difficulty. All he needs is for you to talk to him to re-establish your bond in spirit. Tell him you need him and ask for his daily guidance. Be open to signs and don’t second-guess his messages, otherwise you’ll miss the point of communicating with the other side and miss out on a very special connection. Q My husband died from cancer 26 years ago. At the time it was very hard for me to be a comfort for him as he was a very jealous man and was always accusing me of having affairs. I feel guilty that I couldn’t be supportive in the end.
Leo, via email. A Leo, that’s an unfortunate combination, cancer, jealousy and guilt. They all carry the same energy. They all eat you up, leaving you unhealthy. May I suggest that you write a letter to him, not one of blame but rather regret? Tell him that you’re sorry that you weren’t there emotionally for him at the end of his life. You didn’t assuage him of his fear of dying.
How would you handle it differently now if you had the chance? Tell him he was an important part of your life and thank him for loving you. Write it down. He’ll hear you. Smile, then burn the paper, letting go of his cancer, his jealousy and your guilt. Then, take a deep breath and move on with your life, free from regrets, knowing that you and he made amends and can both move on peacefully. Q I apologised to my ex for my part in our break-up but got no response. And the other day I had a panic attack because I’m terrified of scaring away this new guy that I met. I’m messy with love and need guidance – please help! Jess, via email. A Jess, just breathe. Who cares if your ex doesn’t get back to you? He’s an ex. People can be so hard on themselves. If someone doesn’t like you, so what? It is better to focus your energy on the relevant people in your life.
If you go through your life terrified that someone is going to break up with you or overanalyse every past relationship, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. Confidence is sexy. You have to know deep inside that you are amazing and whoever you’re with is lucky to have you.
How you feel about yourself sets the tone for how your life is going to unfold. Channel women whose characters you admire in movies, and really own it! HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALLISON? Email destiny@newidea.com.au