RACHAEL FINCH: HOW I MAKE IT WORK

Rachael Finch is one of those women who makes raising children look easy. Yet having met the model, TV host and businesswoman a few times, I know she’s a natural enthusiast who embraces rather than battles the various elements of her life.

As the founder of wellness and lifestyle program Body by Finch and designer of workout range B.O.D By Finch, Rachael is constantly juggling work with raising Violet, four, and Dominic, 16 months, but she has great strategies for making the days flow. Here are her tips for staying healthy as a working mum...

MOVING IS MOVING!

Don’t discount playtime – jumping around the house and dancing like a lunatic does count toward your weekly physical activity and calorie burn! We get outside every day for pram strolls and do things at home like hula hooping.

INVOLVE THE KIDS

Instead of thinking how I can prepare meals and get workouts in without the kids, I think about how I can include them in both to make it fun for everyone.

Violet loves helping in the kitchen. She puts ingredients into the blender for our smoothies and loves rolling out meatballs and healthy cookies. Often, we turn on the music on the balcony and do one of my bodybyfinch.com HIIT circuits. I get my workout in and the kids are having fun!

LOVE LEFTOVERS

Making a bigger portion at dinnertime so you have leftovers for lunch will make mornings flow. We do this on my program from Monday to Friday, then leave the weekend for getting creative and/or eating out. Meals always taste better the next day!

WORK FROM HOME

Enquire about the possibility of doing some of your work from home. Many people like to leave the house for work, but I prefer working from my lounge room. Chat to your boss to see if it’s possible to swap a day or two to home? Or maybe working from 7am-3pm, rather than 9am-5pm, would work better?

STACK THE FREEZER

I have so many go-to items in my freezer including soups, stews, paleo slices, quiches, healthy banana bread and even protein balls. I put them straight into my bag, knowing they’ll defrost throughout the morning. My freezer is also packed with wild berries, bananas and mixed vegies such as peas and broccoli for smoothies.

BOOK SOME ME TIME

If I know I need some ‘me time’ I try to book some downtime on the back of another appointment. After meetings I like to swing by the infrared sauna close to work, for example.

FOLLOW THEIR ROUTINE!

Violet goes to bed at around 8pm and I follow shortly after. If I stay up I’m only going to turn on technology and force my brain to stay awake unnaturally. I prefer to go to bed early and rise early. I’m so much more productive this way, and it helps my health stay on track!

Whereas drugs, alcohol and smoking used to cause parents the most distress, the pervasiveness of bullying – both face-to-face and online – is now a horrifying reality, with 95 per cent of parents rating ‘online safety’ as their most important concern in research by Life Education.

Studies show one in four young people are bullied, with children in Year 5 and Year 8 at greatest risk, while 54 per cent of Year 7 students say they feel unsafe at school. Almost half of those bullied tell no-one what has occurred.

According to Michael Carr-gregg and Elly Robinson, who published Surviving Adolescents 2.0 this week, school bullying is ‘an urgent social, health and education concern.’ So how do you define bullying? According to the authors, bullying is the ‘repeated, psychological, emotional, social or physical harassment of one student by another’. It may be physical, verbal (either face-to-face, via phone, text or email), non-verbal (through body language) or antisocial (via gossip or exclusion).

Whereas face-to-face bullying was once the most concerning – and is still the most prominent form – parents are increasingly concerned about the bullying they can’t see, that’s perpetrated online and via social media forums.

The suicide of 14-yearold Northern Territory student Amy ‘Dolly’ Everett highlighted the traumatic impact of bullying and research is showing that victims of bullying are at high risk of developing depression and anxiety. A long-running British study shows that those who experienced frequent bullying at age 13 had double the risk of developing clinical depression at age 18. So, what can we do? While schools should have a bullying policy, including a list of what constitutes bullying, educators are increasingly focusing on programs that move away from blame and towards teaching kids about safe and respectful relationships.

Life Education, which teaches a new program called Relate, Respect, Connect, believes it’s imperative to teach kids strategies to manage conflict, deal with social pressures and navigate relationships both online and off.

CEO Kellie Sloane says all children are capable of an act of bullying, but that we need to see them as a ‘work in progress’. She said the core issues to be taught were the same for both online and face-to-face bullying.

‘Particularly in upper primary school, as they prepare to move into new territory, it’s important to teach them skills to manage conflict and drama. It’s about getting to the root of how to build safe and positive relationships, to develop

empathy, communicate respectfully, including how to respectfully disagree with someone,’ says Kellie.

Life Education also addresses the role of bystanders, as research shows that eight out of 10 of those who do observe bullying choose to do nothing about it.

The program teaches kids to become what Kellie calls ‘peer-group champions’, effectively schoolyard ‘heroes’ who have some social standing and will stick up for other kids.

She says kids are taught not to ignore the bully, but also not to push back. They can use various techniques, including using ‘who cares’ behaviour and remarks. Phrases such as: ‘I’m sorry you are having a bad day,’ or ‘what’s your problem?’ can be effective and kids are encouraged to break eye contact, shake their head and walk away.

Asking bullies to stop and calmly asking them to go away, or seeking a safe place yourself is also important in responding to disrespectful behaviour. As for online bullying, kids are encouraged not to share passwords or private information and to learn to take time away from their devices.

As for parents, experts say it is more important than ever for them to be aware of what is going on in their child’s life. It’s not sufficient to say you don’t understand technology or ‘don’t know what they’re up to’. Parents who show an interest in the social media apps their kids use and learn how they work will be in a better place to discuss the potential pitfalls. Simply teaching your child how to step away from their phone or courteously close down an online conversation is an important skill. Australia’s esafety Commissioner, Julie Inman Grant, says teenagers also need to be encouraged to report offensive content.

Michael says his views on bullying have consolidated since his first his book. He says kids who are chronically victimised yet live in a supportive home are less likely to consider taking their lives. He encourages them to speak up if their school isn’t addressing it.

‘My advice now is that if parents go through the normal school hierarchy and get nowhere, they should hire a lawyer and get back in there and hold the school accountable.’

ASK PARENTS WHAT THEIR MAIN CONCERN IS WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR KIDS – THE ANSWER IS CYBERBULLYING

WHAT IF YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY? If your child is identified as a bully, there is plenty you can do. The Australian Institute of Family Studies has advice on their website, including:

MANAGING YOUR REACTIONS AND GETTING THE FACTS While you may feel defensive, you need to listen to what is being said about your child. Thank the parent or teacher and take time to process the information. Write down details and feel free to check facts with the source. Perhaps talk the issue over with a friend before raising it with your child.

TALKING WITH YOUR CHILD Stay calm and approachable, and explain to your child that you are going to help them. Does your child know what you are talking about? What happened and is it true? If they focus on what the other child did, tell them you want to hear about that, but you want to hear what they did first. Find out if there is a pattern to the bullying and let your child know it is unacceptable with a simple statement, such as: ‘I need you to know that bullying is unacceptable, and it must stop.’

WORKING TOWARD A RESOLUTION Take it seriously and don’t minimise the behaviour. Support the school policy and ask for advice on what you can do at home. Call the school regularly and try to understand why your child might be behaving this way.

HOW YOU CAN EQUIP YOUR CHILD WITH COPING SKILLS Teach your kids to manage disagreements Life Education suggests teaching kids ‘I messages’ where you explain how you feel about something by using a sentence beginning with ‘I’, such as: ‘I was annoyed because...’ Show your child it’s possible to respectfully disagree, negotiate and apologise.

Encourage your child’s friendships Talk about what values you appreciate in a friend, how they can cope with the loss of a friend and that everyone feels lonely sometimes. Teach them the skills to keep friends, including co-operating, asking questions, being a good loser, and sharing.

Let your child know it’s their right to feel safe Teach empathy Kids need to be taught that differences are positive and that they’ll learn more about someone else by asking questions than judging.

Help your child to develop self-respect Instead of focusing on self-esteem, encourage kids to have self-acceptance and to self-manage. Life Education teaches kids to have a positive approach, to respond to challenges and to focus on their strengths. Kids also need to be encouraged to trust their own judgement and to use positive self-talk – for instance, ‘I can do this if I try.’

Foster good communication so your child will confide in you, and be a positive role model in your interactions.