BEWARE THE SEVEN-YEAR ITCH BUT LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS, SAYS NENE

QI’ve been with my partner for seven years and thought we were happy. But I recently discovered he was having an emotional affair with a colleague. I insisted he stop seeing her out of work. He said it wasn’t physical but she made him feel good about himself. How can I do the same, so that he won’t go back to her? DEB, VIA EMAIL.

AAre you certain you want to stay with your partner? He has been having an emotional affair with a colleague. He said it wasn’t physical, but how do you know? Sounded pretty intimate to me. Don’t put yourself down and lose your confidence. You don’t have to change – your partner needs to decide who he wants to be with. What is disconcerting is that he still works with her. Saying this colleague made him feel good about himself must make you feel inadequate. You don’t know this woman and it is up to your husband to not compare her to you.

QMy mum died six months ago and my dad is finding it hard cope on his own as he never really did much of the domestic side of things, plus his mobility isn’t that good. I’d like him to move in with us but my husband is against the idea and says he should go into a nursing home where he can get professional care. I don’t want to let my dad down but my husband seems adamant about it. What can I do? SANDY, VIA EMAIL.

AListen to your husband. You are not letting your dad down, just making sure he is safe. His mobility is not that good and he obviously finds it hard to care for himself. He might be much happier in a nursing home. Full-time caring is a thankless, constant arrangement, and having your dad stay with you could put a strain on your marriage. Have a gentle chat with your father to see if he is open to going into an aged-care facility. I’d check out places in your area and you can take your father with you. Hopefully he will find somewhere that suits.

QMy husband and I have been trying for a baby for about six months, but so far, no luck. I’ve been tracking my cycles and working out the right days for conception but the problem is my husband doesn’t seem to want to have sex that often. He says he doesn’t want to perform to order around the times I’m ovulating. But I can’t see how we will get pregnant any other way. Do you have any suggestions? CATH, VIA EMAIL.

AYou need to relax. It is only six months since you have been trying to have a baby. Forget tracking your cycles and working out the right days for conception, get on with your life, and have sex when it suits you and your husband. I can understand why your husband feels like he is expected to perform on demand and is not happy about it.