‘I DIDN’T THINK I WAS STRONG ENOUGH’
KIM TUCCI IS MUM TO EIGHT CHILDREN AND NOW SHE WANTS TO HELP OTHER PARENTS
Looking back on her pregnancy, Kim Tucci can still remember how frightened she was at the thought of having quintuplets and how life would be after their arrival.
“I didn’t think my body would be strong enough to carry five babies to term. I didn’t think I would be emotionally or financially or physically ready for the task,” she tells New Idea.
“I tried to just concentrate on each day as it came. Because if I looked any further into the future I’d just have a panic attack.”
But while the journey has been gruelling, Kim’s five babies – Keith, Ali, Penelope,
Tiffany and Beatrix – are about to reach an important milestone.
“There are moments when I think, how the hell did I get to this point where they’re 4 years old?” Kim says. “I’m at a point now where I think I’m coming through the other side.”
At the time of the quins’ birth, Kim was already a mum to three children, now 12-yearold Kurt, 8-year-old Ava and 6-year-old Indiana. As a result, she’s more than qualified to offer advice to other new parents. Her first book I’ve Had 8 Babies, And If There’s One Thing I’ve Learned… aims to help new parents keep their own sanity in early parenthood because, as Kim half-jokes,
“When I had the quins I had to find the most simple and easy way to raise them without losing my mind”.
However, since the birth of Australia’s first ever naturally conceived quintuplets in January 2016, some of Kim’s early worries have played out. She’s experienced postnatal depression and many physical problems that were likely the aftermath of such a demanding pregnancy and led to her undergoing 12 operations, including a hysterectomy. Then, last year, Kim and husband Vaughn separated.
“It was a mutual decision,” explains Kim.
“We were arguing all the time and we were both so miserable. We don’t have time for each other. Everything we have we give to the kids.”
“But it’s also really emotionally hard, because we still love each other – that’s not the issue – it’s that we don’t work any more.”
Vaughn still sees the children most days and at
weekends and is always there to support his family.
Like Kim, he’s also struggled with his mental health since their family grew from three children to eight.
“He was very optimistic from the start,” says Kim. “He just had the attitude, ‘we’ll be able to do it, we’ll be fine’. But after the quins came along he started to suffer with depression; he found it quite hard to be a dad to so many children and try to balance everything.”
Their other children also found the adjustment difficult when the quins were first born.
“My eldest [Kurt] is deaf so he really struggles with background noise. He’d go to his dad and cry and say, it’s so noisy. Indiana just hated them – she was going through her terrible twos and any time
I’d go near one of the quins she’d go into an epic tantrum mode. Ava is very maternal, she always has been; she has always loved her babies.”
Kim says life is now smooth running and the older and younger children all get on really well. But as the quins grow, they have their own challenges.
“Keith always gets left out. He just wants to be one of the girls. They boss him around and say, ‘no Keith, we don’t want to play with you’.”
Last year, the family faced the tough task of toilet training the quins.
“That was the hardest. It was horrible,” she says, laughing. “It got to the point where I just couldn’t cope. Sometimes we’d go through 20 odd pairs of underwear a day. The washing was just horrendous!”
Since becoming a mum to eight, Kim has learnt to prioritise her own wellbeing and urges other parents to do the same.
“We’re the front line, we need to look after ourselves before we look after others,” she says.
“As much as I love my kids, at the end of the day if I don’t practise self-love I can’t be the best mother I need to be to raise them. That’s been a hard lesson to learn.”