YOUR ANXIOUS CHILD DURING COVID-19

It’s a tough time for everyone at the moment but anxious children are really feeling the pressure. Although it’s tempting to reassure kids and tell them they’ll be fine and that their extreme worries are unfounded, experts suggest we validate children when they experience big emotions. Name their fear, let them talk, and make sure they keep talking during this challenging time. But it’s also important to modify our on behaviour.

“It’s hard for us to be calm and reassuring for our children if we are not calm ourselves,” explains psychologist and author, Justin Coulson. “Our emotions are contagious, and our children will catch our crazy, our chaos, or our cranky. But they can catch our calm if we can find it to share.”

Help your child manage their anxiety

You won’t be able to wave a magic wand and eliminate their fears. Instead, talk to them and work out ways that might help them. This might include mindfulness, meditation and physical exercise.

Embrace worry time

Beyond Blue suggests setting aside a designated time each day to deal with worries. Encourage your child to draw or write down what’s bothering them and when that time is up, shut those worries away in a ‘worry box’ or tear them up.

Manage media exposure

Constant bombardment about COVID-19 is upsetting. In children it can really increase fear and anxiety. Focus on good news stories, keep it age appropriate, and if they do want to read about what’s going on, ensure they stick to quality, accurate sources, but don’t let them overload.

Show them you’re calm

Their reactions will often mirror yours so if you can, create some psychological distance. “Since we all feel uncertain, though, this is hard to find,” says Justin. “We can do this by trying out mental time travel – ‘We’ll feel so much better about things again in a few months’ or speaking to ourselves in the third person – ‘C’mon Justin, you’ve got this. Keep calm. You can be the adult here’.”

Keep kind and carry on

Uncertainty and not knowing when this will end, combined with being stuck indoors, is a recipe for conflict. Encourage children to forgive each other easily and support each other. Focus on helping others and coming up with projects that will turn their attention from themselves to other people.

Focus on gratitude

Another way of reframing this situation is to look at the positive where possible.

“Feeling grateful increases wellbeing, and can stave off feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anxiety. So ask them, what do they have that they’re grateful for? Switch the mindset from what is lacking to what is abundant,” suggests Justin.

Manage the family’s wellbeing

It’s hard, but try to stick to a routine. Exercise daily; eat nutritious food and contact quality services if you need mental health support via your GP or phone and online services.

Resources for families

The Brave program (brave-online.com) is interactive and online and has sections for different age ranges.