FIXING A FRIENDSHIP
THROWING IN THE TOWEL ISN’T ALWAYS FOR THE BEST
The pandemic has had a huge impact on many friendships, with some bonds becoming stronger and others falling by the wayside. But while some mates may have disappointed us, are we being too quick to cut them off ?
Counsellor and neuropsychotherapist Joanne Wilson says it’s important to recognise we all respond to stress in different ways. “Every person’s best attempts to cope with the unknown is varied,” she explains. “COVID brought out some bizarre and often selfish behaviours as a result of fear, uncertainty and lack of hope.”
It could be that your friends have had less time due to an increased workload. Or they may be battling with having less money. Sickness, death and grief can also bring about heightened emotions. Some friends may have put pressure on those around them by being needy, while others may have withdrawn from online interactions or struggled with re-entering the social scene. Remember, we’re all fallible and have different ways of coping.
KNOW YOUR FRIENDS
While it’s normal for people to grow apart, there are some friendships worth saving. If a friend complements your talents and interests, respects your values, supports you during tough times, and makes you feel positive, safe and happy (rather than exhausted and drained), Joanne says they’re probably a keeper.
It may also be time for some honest self-examination. “What is your definition of a good friend and are you one?” asks Joanne. “Do you take responsibility for any part in the demise of your connection?”
WHY IT MATTERS
“Healthy relationships are the underpinning of our mental health and launch us to success,” says Joanne. “A great friend is worth valuing and often can become just as important – if not more so – than family as we age.”
And if you’ve fallen out with any of your partner’s friends, now’s the time to