7 WAYS TO FIND mum ‘ time’
Have the words ‘I never signed up for this’ ever leaked out of your mouth? Maybe it was while desperately wrangling a fierce-looking child away from their screaming sibling. Maybe you’d contemplated this during the dark hours nursing a feverish baby, racked with worry as you calculated the precious hours of sleep you will never get back. It could have been triggered by your nerves as you waited up for your newly licensed driver to return home safely.
Parenting is a job in which there’s no official training, little previous experience, you’re not allowed to quit and people’s lives are at stake! Most of us want to provide a life that is just as good as, or better than, what we had.
Many parents are feverishly seeking to keep up with the abundance of activities on offer that help our children be the best they can be. In the meantime, we can neglect what is inherently important – the relationship we have with them and the example we set to look after ourselves.
Whether you’ve mucked up at work, forgotten the dress-up day at school or your teenager refuses to detach from a device, we won’t always execute the greatest response – but there’s no point in repeating the same patterns of overwhelm.
We create a beautiful, nurturing environment for our kids when we nourish ourselves. According to relationship expert Joanne Wilson, here’s how...
GET OUT OF THE COMFORT OF YOUR DISCOMFORT
Your whirring toxic thoughts of ‘can’t’ and ‘not good enough parent’ will continue to hold you in a vice-like grip if you allow your brain to be stuck in the comfort of discomfort. You are the only one who can harness control of your mind and body
to realise your potential. Your children are modelling the product of your thought life and this is your greatest motivation to realise your inherent worth, so your children do the same!
NURTURE A BEAUTIFUL MIND
Set aside a 30-minute time slot each month to visualise, plan and write down what the best version of you looks like. You can do anything you put your mind to and inspiring your children should be right up there in your top priorities. You’ve got access to inspiration from reputable thought leaders on Youtube, podcasts and audiobooks on your smartphone any day of the week.
START WITH A BREATH AND A BANG
Eight minutes of mindful breathing or prayer nourishes your neural pathways and reinforces coherence in the heart, setting you up for success with clarity. Back this up with a list of the three most important parental intentions today that will have the largest impact, and then take action.
SWEAT SO YOU DON’T FORGET
Sorry, mum and dad bods – there’s no avoiding this one! Your brain loves exercise and you’ve got a better chance of keeping up with your children’s energy levels, too. The benefits will undoubtedly flow through to all your relationships when you’re feeling better within yourself from all those happy endorphin chemicals, as well as when you look great.
BE GRATEFUL
Write down three things daily that include the best aspects of what you already feature, instead of getting too stuck in what you’re not. Pop them in a jar and enjoy reading your time capsule on days when you struggle as a parent. This is a quick and easy way to pick yourself up and dust yourself off !
STAY SOCIAL
Banish the guilt, as it is not selfish to seek time out. A bolstered social life is not only incredibly entertaining when learning of other’s parental failures, but inevitably provides a source of support. Whether you join some sort of meet-up group, find a new hobby, join a fitness group or chat online, your children will be launched to success from a parent with a rich private life that features integrity through contribution, as well as plenty of fun!
EXPERIMENT AND LEARN A NEW THING EACH WEEK
Fear will sure keep the lid on your wildly wonderful and potentially successful ideas that could well save you and your identity, aside from being a parent. Think like a scientist who relentlessly experiments, searches, tests and tracks their progress. When in doubt, bias toward experiment and action toward the best version of you.
• Neuropsychotherapist Joanne Wilson is the ‘relationship rejuvenator’ and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). Find out more at relationshiprejuvenator.com